The amazing Alyssa Durkee with her daughters Ava (4) and Ella (1). She also has a 6 year old son, Tiernan. Alyssa's first pregnancy was wonderful. She says she could always be pregnant with an experience like that. Her labor and delivery was a different story however. She didn't at all feel support from the doctors and nurse and although she'd agreed to epidural had asked for it to be turned down so she could feel which was not at all respected and she ended up with a 4th degree tear on top of an episiotomy. She knew she wanted things to go differently with her second birth so she had considered an out of hospital birth but had ultimately decided to birth at the same hospital with the support of a doula. She arrived in hard labor and was made to wait in the waiting room full of other people while having 90 second contractions every 90 seconds. Finally a nurse took her to a room but refused to allow her mother or doula to join her and her husband was busy getting them registered. She was completely overwhelmed and though she knew she didn't want one this time ended up agreeing to the epidural. She was all alone and had begged for her support but the nurse said they could only come in after she got the epidural since she needed to calm down. They were eventually able to come in to support her and she says it was her husband who said, after their daughter was born, that they could never do it in the hospital again. When she became pregnant with Ella she sought the care of a midwife and planned to give birth to her at home. Things went very well this time and she was able to have the closest thing to the birth she desired. Alyssa tore during delivery, and after the midwife stitched her up, things were so damaged she didn't think she was healing properly, and eventually sought the advice of an OB. She had yet another off putting experience that has her longing for one more birth experience where hopefully every aspect can be positive. Alyssa has been able to breastfeed all of her children and is enjoying her current nursing relationship with Ella. Alyssa says that part of the reason she participated is because she believes its time as women that we stop sugar coating and start being honest with one another.