The magnificent Mary Jose, Matteo (2) and Nicolas (11 months)
"They are it, everything. I breathe them".
Still, she say's it has been hard as hell and she was not prepared for that. Both of her children have had issues with reflux and it's created some interesting challenges from limited diets to lost sleep. Matteo was born 3 weeks early and very small. He screamed for about 8 months straight, was barely growing and was eventually diagnosed with failure to thrive. It was a tough time for everyone. She went to the doctor often but they seemed to write her off as a neurotic rather than seeing his reflux. In time the screaming stopped but he has only just now made the growth chart (at 3%). "Its been a real struggle, which has left me to question my mothering abilities as I have always made all of his food and I guess I feel like i should've gone elsewhere when I thought i wasn't being heard. That is a tough pill to swallow".
Her experience with Nicolas has been emotionally tougher that Matteo was. "Matteo is a lover, he wants to be snuggled all of the time. Nico is not an outwardly affectionate baby but wants to be held all of the time. He tends to be pretty whiny, but it is very hard for me to please him". Reflux this time was more obvious and after an elimination diet and medication he is well controlled. He was 2 weeks late and much bigger and more independent that Matteo ever was. She calls him her little ray of sunshine because when he is happy and smiling he brings his own unique joy that can just melt your heart.
"I am a person that has struggled with anxiety my entire life. At 25, I had a breakdown that lead to a struggle with panic attacks. since then I am panic free and have become a therapist (currently a SAHM) as well as create a vlog so that I may help others in a similar situation. I chose to do this because the anxiety that I thought I understood before was absolute bullshit to what I experienced after pregnancy. I am lucky to have had years of therapy and education to help me deal, but it took all of my resources to prevent me from backsliding. I want other women to know that they are not alone, to read my story and feel motivated to speak up. On a personal note, my body has been changed drastically and this has been hard for me to accept. So, I am challenging myself to do something I would not have ever done to free myself from the shame that I feel.I want to empower myself to see that my body has changed due to these amazing little people that have filled my soul".