The marvelous Katie Meidlinger and Severin Fox (22 months). Katie also experienced a miscarriage two months ago.
Katie was really prepared to do birth naturally with Severin and had read Ina May several times in advance. She was preparing for her body to open but her baby was breech and didn't have any interest in turning. She had an external version which left Katie feeling like she'd been assaulted. They decided to then go ahead and schedule a cesarean. She was grateful for her doctor who is an amazing surgeon, though it wasn't the birth she had planned to do. Still, reflecting emotionally she feels fine about it. Her physical recovery was much more difficult than she had imagined and she doesn't feel anyone had prepared her for that. She also got mastitis which made it difficult to carry or lift him and they were having their house renovated at the time which greatly added to the stress those first six weeks. Breastfeeding was hard and painful at first but Severin has a great latch and Katie says it's been awesome since.
Katie and her husband decided it was time to start trying for a second, with transitions coming up in work and life and location they wanted to give it a go while they still had their support networks near. She conceived the first month of trying but found out at 8 weeks that there wasn't a heart beat and her baby left her the next week. Katie says, its been really hard but really good in the way that people have responded to her openness about all that has happened. She's been going to a support group and pursuing therapy but it's still been tough. Her loss isn't real for her husband so it's hard for her to explain it in a way that makes sense. She says it's fair, it's his experience, but it's not hers.
It's really important for people to know that women's bodies are different after they have children and it's okay. We're all just normal! For Katie, body image in general has been difficult. Even when she was really little she remembers experience skinny shaming, people spreading rumors she was anorexic just because she was thin. But she's not, it's just the body she's got and she doesn't want to compare things with other women. She notes that everyone has a body and it's important to love the one you're with while harnessing the strength to change the things you can.