The stunning Sarah Bake with her son Nate (9) and daughters Magnolia (9) and Juniper (2). Sarah's birth experiences have all been very different. With her first pregnancy, she had a doctor who was very by the numbers. If she was 1 pound over what was expected she was made to feel as if she was doing something wrong, or at the very least not doing something right. There was never any encouragement or praise, even during the birthing process. Though things ultimately went fine, she felt quite traumatized by the experience.
With her second pregnancy she hoped to leave this all behind with a new doctor and a new practice where pregnancy wasn't viewed as a condition but instead something she was built for and should be respected in. Unfortunately, she lost her job 7 months into her pregnancy and her family had to make a big move to a new state. She struggled to find the provider she wanted and instead had to go with the provider she could get to take her that late in her pregnancy. With June, she knew that she didn't want doctors coming in with charts and books and telling her what to do. She instead found a midwifery practice that supported water birth in hospital. After leaving each pregnancy without the encouragement of anyone around her, she still felt like a stronger woman but didn't feel that had been recognized externally. After 36 hours of labor, without monitoring and with the trust of her providers, she was able to have the water birth she desired. When she knew it was time to push, they called the midwife in who asked Sarah what it was she wanted her to do. She told Sarah, she was just supporting her, it was Sarah doing the work. Sarah asked her midwife to catch and Juniper was born into her hands soon after. She finally felt as if someone had trusted her to have a baby.
Sarah says that she doesn't internally feel that there isn't anything she sets her mind to. She has complete confidence in her ability to undertake, over come and accomplish knew things. But when it comes to her physical appearance she struggles with what she presents outwardly to the world. She hears the dialogue of " Suck it in!" and "Stand up straight!" which conflicts with her internal thoughts about herself. Sarah says she never looks at other women with criticisms but does do it to herself and the weight of that is heavy. Sarah wants to put herself out there, even if it's uncomfortable, in hopes that she's able to judge herself differently in third person. She wants her daughters to see that person and be able to accept themselves.