The amazing April Kaufax, Eliza (3), Ruby (2) and Zechariah (3 months). April also lost a daughter, Abigail Cecily, her first pregnancy to still birth and has had two miscarriages April had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) during her pregnancy with Eliza and was simply miserable the whole time. She had wanted to have an all natural child birth so they took Bradley classes and hired a doula. She labored for 72 hours and was fearful of having a cesarean so she ended up requesting an epidural. It was light and she could still feel the contractions just not the pain and an hour later she pushed Eliza out. Her daughter was a difficult baby, crying all the time and never napped and April said she didn't want any more kids for a long time. 9 months later she found out she was pregnant with Ruby and says she mourned that pregnancy. It wasn't what she had wanted, she wasn't sure if she could love her as much as she loved Eliza and she just felt bad. Her labor with Ruby was hard and fast, only 6 hours under the care of a midwife. She had an epidural and it was an amazing experience and a healing experience. When Ruby was born she cried because her heart grew bigger. April suffered through Postpartum Depression and a dark time for awhile but she was able to work through it. She and her husband talked about wanting another one and chose not to try but not to prevent. She soon was pregnant with Zechariah and says his pregnancy was her best. She wasn't sick and was able to enjoy just being pregnant. She went into preterm labor starting at 30 weeks which was very scary and it was suggested she go on leave early but she was resistant. Finally her supervisor at work put her on leave and at 39 weeks her water broke without labor starting. She was in triage for 6 hours trying to convince them her water had broken, her nurse was saying flippant and concerning things but finally her doctor came in and believed her, confirmed she'd ruptured and started Pitocin. She wasn't able to move around this time and found everything so painful. She got an epidural but the staff didn't tell her they did a nerve block in preparation for a cesarean. She heard the staff talking but no one was honest with her. Finally her friend pressed a nurse who admitted that at 24 hours due to all the exams she'd had they'd need to consider a cesarean. April was able to rest until she felt pain in her back and started to moan. Two pushes later her son was born and she was able to nurse and have immediate skin to skin with her son. April was able to nurse Eliza to 2.5, Ruby self-weaned at a year and she nurses Zechariah at night but exclusively pumps during the day. She has always struggled with body image - her mother used to call her horrible names, she had an eating disorder and has had to have become used to the changes in her body that pregnancy and birth has brought. She's finally confident in her body and wants to document this time when she can look at all of her badges and bumps and know they are because of her children. She is now able to look in the mirror and loves what she sees.