Kim Thi Halum (33 - 30 weeks pregnant), Claire (5), and Martin “TinTin” (3)
Oakland, CA
Kim shares -
“After two surprise pregnancies - Claire was a honeymoon baby and TinTin was conceived after I stopped breastfeeding, while on low dose birth control - I thought when we decided to have just one more child it would be easy. I did get pregnant easily and we were all so excited, unfortunately we had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We then went on to get pregnant two more times but miscarried both of those at 6 weeks. We had given up some hope and were trying to find a way to be content with the family we already had made when we found out we were pregnant again.
It was unexpected in that I had thought I was pregnant (I felt like I was) but then I started bleeding. I just assumed it was another miscarriage so I went to get a check by my OB due to some abdominal tenderness as well. She did a complete ultrasound and to our surprise we were 8 weeks along with a little baby! Originally it was twins and we lost one which was what the unexpected bleeding was. It was a time of mourning for the loss and tentative hope for our future.
We are now 30 weeks along and both kids and my husband are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our newest family member. It was a long journey to get here but it has made me grateful and even more appreciative of all that I have been blessed with.
I never had great body image growing up and I did not always make the best choices nutrition wise. I would binge and purge or withhold altogether and it was always a vicious cycle of trying to get my body to look a certain way with zero regard to what I was doing to nourish it. I always felt like I was either too skinny but then I was too fat. I had no curves and was very judgmental of my body.
It wasn't until becoming a mother and feeling the power behind my body as not just something for aesthetics but a force to grow humans and sustain them through my body. How amazing is that! It was the most empowering thing I have ever been through in terms of body positivity. Don't get me wrong, I still hate seeing the cellulite and the spider veins and the stretch marks and the extra squishy and move-y parts (as my kids like to say) but past that I also see the strength in myself and my body. I have learned as a mother that what I put into my body and how I treat it both physically and mentally will impact my children for years to come. It has made me aware of the need to be conscious about what I eat, how I eat, exercising and treating my body with the same kindness I would want my children to treat their bodies. Being healthy is more important than being skinny and that has taken me a long time to fully understand and accept. Through growing, birthing and feeding my children that I have been able to grasp the concept of healthy body = happy body.
My beautiful friend has done this twice now and she told me I should do it. A few years ago the thought of doing a shoot in my underwear without having killed my self at the gym and been on a strict diet would have made me say "hard HARD PASS" but now I can see past the imperfections I have and see my body for the miraculous machine that it is and the strength that it has.
Strength and kindness will get you far in this world. Be kind to others but also be strong enough to be kind to yourself. Some people may see that as selfish but you teach others how to treat you. Don't accept people in your life you are not kind.”