• 4th Tri Bodies Gallery
  • Events / Participate
    • Tour Schedule
    • Event Schedule
    • Participate
    • FAQ
    • Previous Cities
  • About
    • Mission
    • Ashlee Dean Wells
    • Laura Weetzie Wilson
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Conferences
    • body. breast. baby.
    • Portland, OR
    • Chicago, IL
  • Book a Session
  • Buy Merch
  • Contact
  • Mailing List
  • Media
  • Sponsors
  • Menu

4th Trimester Bodies Project

  • 4th Tri Bodies Gallery
  • Events / Participate
    • Tour Schedule
    • Event Schedule
    • Participate
    • FAQ
    • Previous Cities
  • About
    • Mission
    • Ashlee Dean Wells
    • Laura Weetzie Wilson
  • Podcast
  • Blog
  • Conferences
    • body. breast. baby.
    • Portland, OR
    • Chicago, IL
  • Book a Session
  • Buy Merch
  • Contact
  • Mailing List
  • Media
  • Sponsors
_MG_3987 (1).jpg

Viviana Bayran

October 09, 2018 in 4th Trimester Bodies

Viviana Bayran (26), Giorgio (2.5), and Román (9 months-pictured)

Mexico | Nashville, TN

Viviana shares -

“I had an extremely rough time seeing my body change when I was pregnant with my first son. I specifically remember one prenatal appointment, I was weighed and when that scale hit 200 - I broke down in tears. I didn’t take well to not being in full control of my body, that was the heaviest I had ever been. I hated the dark purple stretch marks and I put layers of different lotions and creams to stop them from appearing- yet they kept on. I know I wasn’t healthy, and I wasn’t happy with my body.

Sure, I was proud it was growing a human but I didn’t dig how my face was basically a ball. I didn’t even take many pictures while I was pregnant because that’s how uncomfortable I was. With my second son I hit 206lbs and when he was born I was determined to be healthy. I want to live long to see my kids have kids and grandkids . I don’t want to have the heart disease and diabetes that runs in my family, I don’t want to be another Hispanic statistic and I certainly don’t want my kids to be one either. So I got my shit together. I started exercising and eating a mostly plant based diet. I feel good ! I’m still flabby and I still have stretch marks and I’m completely okay with that because I’m healthy! And I love my body for what it’s done and what it is now. Mission accomplished.

With my first son, postpartum anxiety was my middle name . I didn’t even want to step out of my house to check the mailbox, and at night I would think of all the possible scenarios that could happen and what I would do to save my baby and dogs (husband was usually at work). I was terrified all the time, I snapped at everyone but the baby, I cried easily at nothing. I thought something was wrong with me. I spent the first 6 months of my baby’s life obsessing about the smallest things that I don’t even remember anymore. It ate me alive .

Slowly, I got out of that phase and then at 15 months I got pregnant with my second son. This time I was determined to have that perfect sweet postpartum peaceful period that we all see in diaper commercials . I mean, I knew what I was doing this time around right? Wrong. Postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression hit me hard. It’s been 9 months and I finally feel like I sort of know what I’m doing but still there’s days that I fight myself with every fiber of my being to just keep my shit together. Postpartum has been the hardest period of my life.

I’m a POC and a DACA recipient. I have struggled through “ma’am do you need a translator” when people see my name even though I was literally just speaking English to them . It’s been hard to fight for my rights through both births and for my choices during birth and postpartum. It’s been extremely hard to just be healthy physically because I didn’t know how to eat healthy- Mexican food is comfort and tradition and you just eat. And it’s hard to tell your mom you don’t want a plate of tradition. And it’s been even harder to be mentally healthy because the system {America’s medical system} isn’t built to help me.”

Tags: 4th Trimester, 4th Trimester Bodies, Postpartum, Postpartum Depression, Postpartum PPD, PPA, Body Image, DACA, Postpartum Mood Disorder
Prev / Next
  • January 2019 29
  • December 2018 16
  • November 2018 27
  • October 2018 50
  • September 2018 28
  • August 2018 14
  • July 2018 34
  • June 2018 34
  • May 2018 5
  • April 2018 9
  • March 2018 20
  • February 2018 8
  • January 2018 6
  • December 2017 22
  • October 2017 13
  • September 2017 26
  • August 2017 19
  • July 2017 17
  • June 2017 7
  • May 2017 10
  • April 2017 2
  • February 2017 1
  • January 2017 25
  • December 2016 2
  • November 2016 17
  • October 2016 17
  • September 2016 38
  • August 2016 14
  • July 2016 26
  • June 2016 33
  • May 2016 16
  • April 2016 33
  • March 2016 28
  • February 2016 20
  • January 2016 26
  • December 2015 30
  • November 2015 30
  • October 2015 48
  • September 2015 23
  • August 2015 34
  • July 2015 24
  • June 2015 51
  • May 2015 29
  • April 2015 40
  • March 2015 35
  • February 2015 75
  • January 2015 53
  • December 2014 32
  • November 2014 47
  • October 2014 46
  • September 2014 54
  • August 2014 45
  • July 2014 65
  • June 2014 50
  • May 2014 22
  • April 2014 43
  • March 2014 73
  • February 2014 46
  • January 2014 34
  • December 2013 9
  • November 2013 20
  • October 2013 39
  • September 2013 22
  • August 2013 31
  • July 2013 3
  • June 2013 6