Madonna Dell'Olio (40), Harper (7), Cecilia (5), Hudson (3), and Alton (4 months)
Madonna is a previous project participant. You can view her 2016 photo and story here.
Madonna shares -
“I had an early term miscarriage before Harper which I discussed in my first 4th trimester shoot in Orlando 2016. Talking about it on 4th trimester was truly cathartic. Once I told my story here and it went out into the universe I was able to let it go. I so rarely think about that miscarriage and while it will always be a part of me -I don’t feel the loss of it anymore.
I don’t even know my current body. I can say that I’m proud of it for birthing four beautiful healthy babies and even prouder for nursing each of those babies for a year. But when I look in the mirror I don’t even know my body – it is strong but so different. I’m not looking forward to getting in front of the camera in my underwear. I even considered canceling for a second. But I realize that would defeat the whole purpose. My breasts are deflated – nonexistent and some days I dream of plastic surgery and fixing everything that I now see as old and tired. I hope I can come to a place where I can love and appreciate my body again but I guess if that takes surgery then that’s ok too. Mothering has made me less judgmental.
All my babies have brought so much joy as babies do but the anxiety and self doubt of parenting are overwhelming. I lost my mom last year and I’ll always be sad she didn’t meet Alton or see my other children grow up. We didn’t always have a good relationship and in some ways I feel free now to just be a mom on my own. She did provide a lot of support in her own way but at the end of the day I’m the mother of these 4 little humans and that responsibility is huge. From having a newborn that I’m nursing and can’t leave to nurturing and guiding my children into becoming themselves. Some days it seems like too much and some days it really is.
4th Trimester Bodies Project has done an amazing job of creating a positive supportive place and I wanted to continue to be a part of that.”