Carly Burns (28), mother to Tyler Emmanuel (6), Caleb Aaron (4), Robert Elias (2), Eliana Rose (miscarriage at 6 weeks) and Daniel Evan (currently 25 weeks pregnant)
Southern California | Photographed in Las Vegas, NV
Carly is a previous project participant. You can view her original image and story here.
Carly shares -
"This last year I had my first miscarriage of our daughter Eliana Rose at 6 weeks. It was an incomplete miscarriage so I had no idea we had lost her until I was 12 weeks pregnant and we had no heartbeat for our sweet girl. I was shocked and devastated that this had happened. After 3 totally healthy pregnancies, I never imagined this would happen to us. I felt lost and confused and I couldn’t imagine how I could move forward.
After going through a D&C, I felt as if I could put this “behind” me, but I now realize that this loss will always be a part of me. Her life was real, although short, and I never want to forget her. At this point, being half way through a healthy pregnancy after this loss, I feel guilty and scared almost everyday that I don’t have my Ellie. I miss my baby girl every day and I hope I can make her proud as a mother of her brothers.
I have found a home in the body positivity movement since becoming a mother. For years, I struggled with disordered eating patterns and negative self image, but being in my 5th pregnancy, I am finally fighting to love my body the way it is.
I wish I could go back and tell myself to remove labels and borders and judgments I formed around being a woman and a mother. Life is better when I am free from social expectations and obligations that do not enrich my life or the life or my family.
I wanted to participate in the movement again to share the loss of my daughter. I got to be photographed with my three boys almost two years ago and my daughter deserves to be included too. Her life was short but I love her as much as my boys and I miss her every day. Now as I prepare for my 4th son to be born, I want to see this pregnancy as a celebration, and not as a reminder of my loss."