Bree Darson (32) and Olive (2)
Bree shares -
"Every single second that I was pregnant, I was worried that I would lose her. I have seen so many strong women around me suffer the loss of their babies, before, during, and after birth, and that terrified me. They were/are all so brave, and I don’t know if I could (if my heart could) take it.
We somehow made it through, though. Even through what a few might call “a not so fun pregnancy.” Early gestational diabetes with daily insulin shots in the stomach, placenta previa, pelvic rest (no foolin’ around for this mama), nausea all the time, and a doctor that liked to instill general terror in me pretty much every time I saw her. But, we made it through. You would think at that point the fear dims... but now I’m just as terrified every time she chokes on too many crackers, or runs near the street.
My entire life I have been embarrassed of my stomach. I guess I always thought because I didn’t have a six pack, I didn’t have a nice stomach. Of course I look back now and scream at my younger self for not wearing that crop top, or bikini, because damn was I hot! Being pregnant, I was completely caught off guard with my new found confidence. (The irony of this and the mandatory pelvic rest still gets me.) It was the first time I didn’t have to worry about that part anymore, I just let it all hang out, and it felt good. I find that now, I’ve reached a new stage in my body love, which is acceptance. My body may not be exactly where I thought it would be 2 years after having a baby. But, I know what a powerful thing it has done, it made, and brought us Olive. That power brings the sexy feelings back, and I accept that my body is forever changed by this.
Due to the gestational diabetes, it was strongly encouraged that I was induced at 38 weeks. The induction process lasted almost 48 hours, but my water had broken, which sped things along. Some where along the line I had stopped dilating at 3 cm. At that point, I had an epidural and was exhausted. So, when the clipboard came in for me to sign off on a cesarean, I was more than ready. I will never forget the uncontrollable shaking I experienced while on that table, and how I almost immediately stopped when she was placed on my chest. I was extremely lucky to have such a great support system afterwards. Between my husband, family, and friends, I had a pretty smooth ride into the beginning of motherhood.
I want Olive to grow up seeing me love myself and seeing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.