Jacquelyn Killiri (30), mother to Ellie (6.5), Ruth (4), Alby (2), and Dot (7 months - pictured)
Logan, Utah | Photographed in Las Vegas, NV
Jacquelyn shares -
"I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks between my second and third children.
I have had a fluctuating body image my entire life. I have had times that I haven’t had to work to be fit, and when I need to work to keep up my progress it can be discouraging. My body has changed and I have a hard time not comparing myself to others. I am proud of what my body has done, but I also have a hard time with not being what I wish it was. With having three daughters I feel it is really important that I don’t make it a big deal that my body isn’t perfect. Where we live so many people are body focused and I have to remind myself that it’s ok not to be.
With my first two daughters I had a great postpartum. I was happy, handling motherhood well. And not sad. When I had my son I thought I was in the same place. It wasn’t until I was so far gone that I realized I was in a bad place. It took work and time to get back to an ok place. My life wasn’t in a great spot and my husband decided let’s have another baby! I had a hard time emotionally with getting pregnant again, and being happy. I was scared of getting into that depression again. My body had bounced back after my first two, but after my miscarriage I had gained 20 pounds, then got pregnant right away and gained another 50 pounds so after he was born I had expectations and still haven’t met them. I am finally feeling ok with my body and realizing that it doesn’t have to be what I have envisioned in my mind in order to appreciate it. I have different expectations then just the “look” I want. I want to be strong, and have stamina, and be a good example of health for my children!"