Bobbie Jo Jensen (31), Margo (5), and Kessel (20 months)
Grayling, MI | Portland, OR
Bobbie shares -
"I've had three miscarriages. All my miscarriages have happened at 12 weeks. My first one happened about 2 weeks before I got married to my husband. I was headed to the grocery store with my husband. I was wearing a white skirt on a hot day. I was in the passenger seat of his truck and my legs felt sweaty. I rubbed my hand on my inner thigh to investigate. I just remember there being a lot of blood. The pain, cramps, and heart break that followed was horrible. I went to urgent care and they told me to go to the ER. I knew I couldn't afford that bill so I called Planned Parenthood. They were able to see me and confirmed I was miscarrying. The nurse was amazing and told me my body would most likely pass everything on its own OR I could have a procedure. I chose to let my body do its thing.
I was very open with my pregnancy and loss. After my miscarriage I was surprised to hear from so many women who suffered the same fate but never talked about it. I was lucky enough with my daughter to be born next. Before I got pregnant with my son I had two more miscarriages. I was very open again with the fact I was pregnant and experienced another loss. After that I was convinced my daughter was a miracle baby and that was all I was getting. I told my husband I didn't want to try again. His heart was broken and he convinced me to give it one more chance.
The first trimester with my son I was just waiting for a miscarriage to happen. I was still eating well and treating my body like it was pregnant but I was convinced another miscarriage would occur. Once I got to 13 weeks I was shocked and realized I needed to go to the doctor! Our first appointment took awhile to find his heartbeat and I thought the worst. When they finally found it my husbands smile lit up the room. My miscarriages have been some of the most traumatizing things that have happened to me. I used to go get my daughter out of bed and just snuggle her while I cried. It was the only thing that would comfort me. I do plan on trying to have a third child and sometimes the fear of a miscarriage overwhelms me.
I've always been plus sized and I have always had stretch marks. What I was not ready for was extra body hair. It seems that since I have been pregnant I have been hairier and I have noticed a increase of hair on my belly, chest, neck, and face. Its nothing that really bothers me but I do spend some time plucking my face and neck hair. When i was pregnant I always loved my body and what it was doing. I just thought it was so cool that I was making life. Too many of us focus on what our bodies should look like when they should focus on what our bodies do for us everyday.
I have an amazing husband who was there and supported me with everything I ever needed. I always got up with the kids in the middle of the night so Rhys (husband) could sleep and go to work the next day. But as soon as he got home he would let me relax and take a nap.
I remember crying over everything. Happy or sad would have me crying. Breast feeding went really well to but we did start out with thrush both times. Having a child and coming home from the hospital was pretty much exactly what I expected. There were hard moments, easy moments, a lot of sleepy moments, but it was always happy and full of love.