Martina Wolff (31), Gideon (8.5), and Rafael (3 months - pictured)
Martina shares -
"I have had an eating disorder for 17 years that has fluctuated in ferocity. Being pregnant and then postpartum has been an adventure in emotion, from delight to disgust. The biggest change I feel now is that my body feels permeable in a new way. Growing a child and then nursing an infant has dissolved so many of the borders I thought were inherent in having a body. This change has been both disorienting and sometimes a relief. When I picture my body now, I picture sand dunes.
I had so many friends (and even strangers) tell me that everything changed the minute they held their baby. The biggest shock for me is that nothing like that has happened. I was promised revelation! Instead I am still me, just with a new little person now in orbit.
I try very hard to pay attention to the things that scare me. This terrifies me, and so I had to do it. I also wanted a photograph of me and the baby in our skins, at this very tender point.
I would tell my former self that there is no such thing as "getting your body back" because there is no back in this world. There is a momentum that is bigger than all of us.