Amy Linzmeyer-Jelinek (30), Oleander (6), Lyra (4), and Phineas (13 mo)
Waukesha, WI | Chicago, IL
Amy shares -
I had one loss between Lyra and Phineas. It was our only unplanned pregnancy, and at first I was upset that I was pregnant. After a month or so I came around and was happy about the next baby. At ten weeks, I started spotting while out to dinner with some friends. An ultrasound the next morning confirmed there was no heartbeat, and I went on to have an unassisted miscarriage at home.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Being thin is not the same as being healthy. I always knew that was true, but I feel it now.
What was your postpartum experience?
After my first child, Oleander, was born, I returned to work on a very part time basis as quickly as I could because I worked for a small company and was the only person in my position with no one to really fill in for me. I sat in my cubicle and cried a lot. I ended up quitting before I needed to be back full time at 12 weeks because I just thought I couldn't handle being away from my baby. Looking back, it was more than that.
When Lyra was born, I knew something was terribly off. I was having panic attacks and fits of rage, constantly on edge. My PCP ended up finding my hyper thyroid issues, the same thing that made be loose so much weight and get the "Wow, you look great!" was making me sick . All they really did for me was put me on anti-depressants and wait for my thyroid to return to normal, which it eventually did, and I took myself off the meds because they prevented me from feeling anything.
Then I had my miscarriage, and ended up in counseling and with a psychiatrist and new medication that I'm still on today.
So with Phineas, I had the best postpartum experience. We went on many adventures. He was also a pretty calm newborn, so that helped a lot.
What is your truth?
It's ok to be honest and apologize to your kids and admit when you've made a mistake.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I've been in love with this movement since Ollie was a baby, and always wanted to participate but couldn't find the time and didn't have the confidence to just do it without a friend or someone to come with me. I'm finally at a place where I've realized it's time to do the things I want to do even when no one else wants to or is able to go with me. I feel like this is also a lesson to teach my kids, particularly my daughter, on many levels. To put yourself out there, be vulnerable, and be ok, or even better, afterwards.