Rachel Catalano (31 - she/her) and Quinn (17 mo)
Buffalo, NY
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I loved being pregnant! I was so fortunate to have a really enjoyable pregnancy. I loved my belly and am so proud of what my body did. I literally grew, birthed, and kept this little girl alive with my body. How amazing is that?! Of course there are some changes that I wish hadn't come along with it all, but I wouldn't trade it. She is worth it all. If anything, I would say Quinn made me more comfortable with my body. Between giving birth and breastfeeding, a lot of people have seen a lot of my body and I've never given it a second thought. You do what you have to do for them, regardless of the situation.
What was your postpartum experience?
I spent so much of my life looking forward to being a mother. I was always in awe of pregnancy/childbirth and was confident that I would love my experience. And I did...but it was so much harder than I expected!! My labor was intense (aren't they all?) and resulted in a significant tear. I couldn't walk further than my bathroom and still felt weak and pale more than a week after her birth. I couldn't sit comfortably for months and experienced lingering pain longer than I'd like to admit.
The hardest part for me was learning not to compare myself to others. I felt very defeated and even angry when I saw my friends experience childbirth and "bounce back" within days/weeks. Why was it so easy for them and so hard for me? How were they going shopping, hosting parties, or being intimate with their husbands so early on?
Luckily, as time has gone on, I've realized that everyone has struggles, whether they share them or not. I try to do my best to provide any support that I can for postpartum parents. A warm meal, a listening ear, instructions on how to ward off mastitis, whatever it is that might help them. I was fortunate enough to have a fantastic support system and I cannot imagine doing those first few weeks without it. It really does take a village.
My advice for friends and family is to really be there and check in with parents. Parenthood (especially the beginning) can be a very isolating experience. Even more so in large groups (ironically). That is something I wasn't expecting from parenthood. How isolating and lonely it can feel even though you are never alone. How invisible you can feel. We live in a society that puts so much value on babies but not their mothers. It seems a little backwards to me.
What is your truth?
The best piece of advice I received from a friend before giving birth was: it gets easier. When you first come home and are struggling with latching issues on no sleep and think, "What have I done?"... it gets easier. When you are crying on your way to work after dropping your baby off at daycare... it gets easier. When you fight with your husband over spilt milk and daily chores... it gets easier. When you are sitting in urgent care with a 102 degree temperature due to mastitis... it gets easier.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
Last year I was 3 months postpartum and couldn't attend the session due to a family conflict and was so disappointed. I have followed the project for years and loved it. What a tribute and honor to the bodies that have brought life into the world. They are all beautiful not for their physical features but for their physical ability. I want to show my daughter these pictures when she is older so she can learn to love and respect her body for all it is capable of.