Kelly Kubiak (34 - she/her), Teddy (5), Vaughn (3), and Esme (11 months)
Buffalo, NY
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Growing up I was really insecure about my body. I felt flawed. Why couldn't it look and do things that other bodies could do? Becoming a mother has given me a completely different way of looking at my body. I have more respect for it. I'm amazed and SO proud of the transformations it's been through since I first became pregnant 6 years ago. Even when I find myself in a judgmental place, all it takes is quick reminder- you MADE 3 people! Bravo!
What was your postpartum experience?
My postpartum journey has changed with each baby. I have 3 little ones, each 2 1/2 years apart.
After my first was born I struggled with breastfeeding. I thought it would be easy and natural. It was 8 weeks before we discovered the root cause of this excruciating pain I was experiencing, vasoconstriction. Before the problem was taken care of, a quick fix actually, I exclusively pumped every 3 hours and then fed Teddy bottles. It was exhausting and isolating, especially without support of friends or family nearby. Even though we did eventually form the breastfeeding relationship I always wanted, it took a toll on my mental health. It was then that I decided to do my first yoga teacher training. The community, mind-body connection, and the feeling like I had something that was just for me was liberating!
My postpartum experiences were much different after babies 2 and 3. I had home births that were beautiful and empowering. I had support from my community and caretakers. And even though I was exhausted, especially because my high-energy toddlers can be very demanding, I felt like I had a handle on things. And I appreciated the messy moments, instead of always looking to the next milestone.
Postpartum journey is a whirlwind! But it has also contained some of the most precious moments of my life.
What is your truth?
Try and embrace the messy middle! The best moments and lessons always come from that place. The place where nothing is going as planned, but you surrender and let life happen. That's the magic.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
My amazing doula, Rebecca. She's an incredible woman who's inspiring so many women in our community. I hope that by sharing a little slice of myself I can add to that ripple effect that she has created here!