Catriona Wilkey (34 - she/her) and Jan-Pieter (15 mo)
Boston, MA
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I had severe and persistent nausea for nine and a half months while pregnant with JP, which was at best frustrating and exhausting, and at worst isolating and emotionally debilitating. Birth, on the other hand, was amazing. It was like a gift for having such an uncomfortable pregnancy. I had an unmedicated vaginal birth that was empowering, transformative, and clarifying. JP is healthy and we bonded immediately. I’ve always been attuned to my body, but through birth and parenthood I have tapped into a deeper connection and appreciation for its strength and ability to grow, birth, and feed another being, not to mention carry, run after, and crocodile wrestle a toddler to get his pajamas on.
Birth made me realize how much time and mental energy I had wasted pre-baby being constantly critical of the way that I looked and stressing about all the wrong things about my body. Now, I feel freed from that. I can focus on being strong and responding to what my body needs or wants. I feel like becoming a mother has fulfilled a critical part of my identity. Most days, I feel more myself and more confident than I ever have, because I love being a mother and because he challenges me to be true to myself, and that honesty carries over to how I treat my body. I do have low moments, where I get upset at how squishy my tummy is or how deflated my breasts look, but they don’t last long, because there’s a tower of blocks to build, or a grilled cheese to make, or a snuggle to squeeze in before we start our day. Those are beautiful distractions and reminders of what is important. Ultimately, I am in awe of what our bodies can do, and I want women and birthing people to know how strong they are and how truly transformative birth can be.
What was your postpartum experience?
The weeks following JP’s birth were quiet and molasses-y. My husband and I hunkered down and got to know our bub and ourselves as new parents. It was the best time of our lives, just gazing at our baby and cooking and doing laundry and snuggling and sleeping when we could. My mother is a lactation consultant and was an amazing and grounding support during birth and postpartum. She validates everything I go through as a mother and is always teaching me and never judging me. I am so lucky to be a part of intergenerational sharing of feminine wisdom and energy and I’ve learned that it is everywhere, all around us, at all times.
I was surprised at how long it took me to heal – it was eight months before I felt completely back to normal, but I respect that my body needed that time. I had to go back to work at nine weeks and this was devastating to me. It was unfathomable for me to be away from JP so early in his life. Being a working mom is fucking hard. I spend a lot of time thinking about how our society simply does not value families, children, mothers, fathers, etc., and how we place capitalism and productivity over the health of our babies. This is a racial and social justice issue, and it’s time for change. Parenthood and politics cannot be separated.
But let me close this on a lighter note: At the end of the day, I was, and continue to be, so vitally energized by birth and new motherhood and I am trying to channel that towards personal growth, creativity, meaningful connections, and prioritization of what matters.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
You can do it and it will be beautiful.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I am aligned with the intention and purpose of this movement and I’m drawn to the raw truth of our bodies, birth, and postpartum journeys. I also want to share my birth story. How often do you hear that birth is amazing? Have you ever heard that birth is amazing? No matter what it looks like or what intervention is needed, I want women and birthing people to know that it can be.