Jen Baxendale (36 - she/her), Luca (4), and Ophelia (1)
Toronto, ON
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
This is so hard because I really want to celebrate and be proud of what my body has created but more often I am insecure and unfamiliar with my body after two children. Most days I land in the middle of these two ideas, the magic, yet unfamiliarity of my body postpartum.
What was your postpartum experience?
I had to let go of a bunch of my expectations around pregnancy, parenting and motherhood. I got pregnant without being married and with less than 2 years of sobriety. Neither of which was part of the “perfect plan”. My pregnancy was horrible if it’s a symptom of pregnancy I had it with my 1st. Little did I know the pregnancy sucking was just the beginning. After Luca arrived, before being discharged I knew I wasn’t ok. My history of mental health Issues had worried me and rightfully so as postpartum depression seeped in immediately. I cried for days and wanted to run away. I learned if you cry for days it looks like you’ve being in a boxing match, I thought it was baby blues. Thankfully my self awareness from my work in recovery let me know I needed help ASAP. I got on medication, got a psychiatrist, a support group, and it got better quickly. When I found out I was pregnant with Phi I worked with my doctors, continued my meds and therapy and everything was so much better. I really had to ignore the noise and judgement about taking my antidepressants while pregnant...mainly from myself and take care of myself and it was so worth it for such a much more enjoyable pregnancy and 1st month postpartum.
What is your truth?
Taking care of yourself is the greatest thing you can do for your kids and your family. Whatever that looks like, take care of and make time for yourself and everything else will work out.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
To celebrate a life that I never imagined being able to have. At the end of my drinking and drugging i couldn’t have imagined being a mother and having a network of sober moms and us all raising our kids together. This photo is to show parenthood and drinking are not synonymous and the joy of a present life lived.