Emily H (29 - she/her) and Amelia (1) Emily is also a bonus parent to a 9 year old.
Davenport, IA
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I think about body image every day. When I got pregnant, my doctor’s office had me sign a form that as someone with a higher BMI, my pregnancy was at a higher risk. I laughed in the midwife’s face, and signed her form anyway. I have not looked at a scale in years- and that includes every appointment I went to with my pregnancy. I have no idea how much I gained or lost, but have a good feeling it was at least 7 lbs 6 ounces (my daughter’s birth weight).
I think weight is what is first talked about with body image, because it is what everyone sees. I’m smaller than I have been since my teenage years, and people love to comment. But my scars are what make me think about body image every day. My doula called them battle scars- proud markers of what my body accomplished - and I agree. But I think about every day when I see my scars that I am privileged because I had the choice to let these scars be part of my body. I cannot fathom having my body change so fundamentally against my will. My parenthood body is a body of fight and strength. I am reminded each day that I must fight so all people are able to make their own choices.
What was your postpartum experience?
I don’t think I expected the fear. Even now, I’ll reach over when Amelia is sleeping at put my hand over her heart to feel its beat. I was scared to put her down, or leave her alone, and I’m grateful for the family and friends who would come hold her while my husband and I ate dinner or allowed me to shower.
I was also not expecting - although it was truly naïve on my part- the complete and utter lack of support, and even disdain from my male superiors at work. Although my co-workers were for the most part wonderful, I could understand how people with less support (and less stubborn) would or be forced to veer away from what they wanted or their bodies could do. I have so much gratitude for the people who helped raise me up in my parenting and postpartum choices and helped me combat the negativity and disillusionment I felt in my workplace. Along with working full time (plus some) and being pregnant, I decided to tackle earning my Master’s degree. I had doubters from the get go, but can say that it was the perfect timing for me. When I felt awful at work, I was able to throw myself into school and hear praise for a job well done that I so badly needed. My professors were encouraging and reignited my love of learning. The pride I have in myself for completing my entire program in eleven months, and being able to take Amelia to my graduation ceremony is something I will not forget.
I also cannot stress enough how thankful I am for everyone who has fed me (and the family) in the past year. Or helped clean my house. I also think I underestimated how much I would love spending time with my baby, and want to spend time with her. There are 100% times when I need a break, but there is also a joy I find in watching her grow and learn that I was not expecting.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
My sister has participated in the movement, and although we parent differently, I really respect her input and devotion to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum education. I also love reading the stories and journeys of other participants; it sparks a battle cry in me when I am feeling down, and inspires me to be a woman who supports women and a person who supports all people.