Jill Schrader (35 - she/her), Jaye (8), Cy (4), and Ike (15 months)
Dallas, TX
“I've had two miscarriages. The first one was really hard. We were trying for our second baby and were so excited to be pregnant. We found out at 8 weeks that the baby was gone, but it took 3 more weeks for me to physically miscarry. That wait was really hard and I felt like my body was messing up since it was pregnant but not really. I really felt sad and mourned my baby as a loss. I had another miscarriage before our 3rd baby. This time was an earlier miscarriage and happened right away. I felt just angry and frustrated, but not sad in the same way as the first time.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Until recently, I had not struggled too much with positive body image. After having my first 2 kids, I didn't feel like my body changed that much. My body didn't go back to exactly the same, but I still felt like me. After Ike's birth, my body has changed a lot and it has been hard. I'm having a hard time feeling good about the new shape of my stomach and boobs in particular. I'm proud of how my body grew and birthed these babies. But I feel like I have a different body now and I'm still adjusting to it.
What was your postpartum experience?
Adding baby #3 has been far harder than I expected and definitely harder than either of the other babies. I do feel far more confident in my parenting style and choices. I'm more comfortable in my mama skin now compared to how I felt with my first baby. But there are just physically more children to care for and I feel stretched, a very constant pulling on my capabilities, my time, my energy, and even pulling on my physical body.
What is your truth?
Don't listen to anyone else's advice. It's so hard to hear everyone doing something a different way or having some advice of how you can do it better. Trust yourself and try not to second-guess your own decisions.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I am hopeful that participating will help me to become more comfortable with my new Mama body shape. We don't plan to have any more babies and I want to celebrate the closing of that chapter of my life and set off into the rest of this parenting journey on a confident note.