The amazing Ashley Martell with her sons Ezekial James (25) and Ahijah Beloved (1). She conceived her first son when she was just 18. She was a single mother and a college student and was grateful to have the help of her own mom in helping raise her son. Because she was so young, she doesn’t feel she had many choices in the process of her pregnancy and birth. Thankfully, she had a healthy pregnancy and very typical hospital birth - but it left her feeling as if there were more to the experience and she looked forward to having more children and more choices in future experiences. Ezekial was a big healthy baby and a voracious nurser, though Ashley says she weaned a bit earlier than she’d have liked due to pressure from social norms at the time. Ashley always wanted to create a large family, with siblings, for Zeke but that was not to be their story. Other conceptions ended in miscarriage, the most recent in 2012. Ashley has some uterine issues including fibroids and at one point was told that she shouldn't try to conceive again because she couldn't sustain another pregnancy. She had only known Ahijah’s father for a couple of weeks prior to conceiving again at age 43 but they believed that the pregnancy was a great gift so decided to face the risks involved. Her pregnancy was much more challenging this time around due to her age and health, and emotional issues within her relationship and family. And though she had dreamt and planned for a very holistic and natural birth, by the third trimester, it looked like her fibroids were pushing her plans in a more medical direction. A few weeks before her due date Ashley’s doctor confirmed that a fibroid was blocking her cervix which would make a vaginal delivery very risky. Because the baby's head was in position behind the fibroid, there was a high probability of uterine prolapse if she were to go into labor. So she shifted gears and a complicated surgical delivery was scheduled. The fear of surgery and it's risks, and the very real possibility that it would result in a hysterectomy, was almost too much to handle in her last month of what she knew would be her last pregnancy. She was grateful to have the support of a Sacred Birthing group, a couple of amazing midwives and her friends and family, who did a lot of spiritual work to help her prepare. Ashley went in for a final ultrasound 8 days before her scheduled delivery to map the fibroids for surgery, and amazingly her doctor discovered the fibroid had moved completely out of the way and gave Ashley the go ahead to try for a vaginal delivery with her midwife. Bewildered but ecstatic, she shifted emotional gears once more, re-visited her sacred birth plan and went into labor without any intervention the day after the surgery would've taken place. Ashley and Ahijah’s father spent the morning of the birth resting at his home in the woods, then drove the hour to her home to check in with their doula, stopping for ice cream and pizza along the way. After a soak in a warm tub Ashley was anxious to be at the birth center and could tell it was almost time. They arrived at the hospital in the last stages of labor, ahead of her midwife and doula, and about 45 minutes later Ahijah was born. Ahijah was very thin at birth and being a preferential nurser and a bit of a picky eater, he's remained lean, but he's healthy and she’s looking forward to allowing him to nurse as long as he chooses.
Ashley spoke greatly about the differences in birthing and nursing her sons more than two decades apart. From the changes in medical climate to the baby gadgets and gizmos available and even more so the difference in feeling like an uninformed girl herself with her first to a woman with experience and wisdom with her second. The bond between her boys as siblings as well as with her as their mama is pure strength.
