Vivian Diaz (31), Luna (4.5) and Leo (10 months)
Chicago, IL | Miami, FL
Vivian shares -
“I was never one to be super skinny or into how I looked. I always felt awkward. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, after the shock wore off, I was so excited to see how my body changed and evolved to accommodate her. But then, I had a hard time losing the weight. I’ve had to grapple with not feeling my best about myself and it’s a struggle! You see other moms snapping back and wonder, why not me? But I know I’ll get to where I’m more comfortable with myself. And the most important part is that my daughter grows up with a healthy sense of self image and knows that she is remarkable above all else. And that my son also grows up proud and happy with his sense of self.
My postpartum journey now as a mother of two has kicked my ass more than I thought possible. My son came early, we were in the hospital for over a week between my postpartum complications and his jaundice. It completely threw me for a loop, being away from Luna for the longest time. I was mourning the possible end of a breastfeeding relationship, which I thankfully ended up being wrong about, as we are about to hit one year of breastfeeding! I could not breastfeed Luna and I carried so much hurt and guilt about it. But then I see how my beautiful girl is thriving and is so full of love and healthy and I think I’ve done good.
Dealing with jealousies between Luna and Leo - its a lot and sometimes I think I fail, I don’t have enough patience, I don’t have enough of myself to give. Those are the moments where I remind myself to give myself a break. That my children are loved beyond measure. That they have an example of a happy home and we, as a family, are making the most of it one day a time.
Everyone throws advice. But there’s nothing quite like being in the thick of it. As long as your children know love, they grow and love themselves. Love is the fundamental building block. Cuddles. Holding. For me, that meant babywearing.
I feel like I can share my experience and hope another mom like me won’t feel as alone as I have sometimes.