Alyssa Norman (32 - she/her), Mirah (8), and Hazel (5)
Tuscon, AZ | Buffalo, NY
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
When the actual shape of your body changes so dramatically over such a short amount of time, with it comes a feeling of shock. I think most of the pregnancy and the years after I was still in a sort of stunned state. Processing takes time. After the shock settled, I grew to love and hate certain changes in my body. But I think parenthood has had a very positive affect on my personal body image. I feel strong and super capable.
What was your postpartum experience?
Postpartum is a really intimate journey you take with yourself. It's a very exposed and vulnerable place you are in with your own body. It can feel very personal and isolating. It felt for me, very independent. My expectations were not much. It's not really talked about. I figured it was an unknown space & it was, both times. Both of my pregnancies and births were so different from each other. The aftermath was also completely unique. My first birth was pretty typically American - in a hospital, medicated & overdue. I delivered vaginally and had a longer recovery. It took my body a lot of time to recover from the induction and medication. My second birth, I had preeclampsia. Hazel was born a month early, vaginally without pain medication or induction. She was in severe distress and I spent two weeks in the NICU pumping milk in a daze. But my body just went into taking care of the baby. It was as if I hadn't just given birth. I was not sick anymore and I wasn't in a lot of postpartum pain.
I was married when I was 18 in an extraordinarily oppressive religious sect. I was taught that sexuality and being a woman were things to be decided by God. It was only through the birth of Hazel that I was shown my strength and capacity to be able to leave a marriage and defect from an extremely patriarchal lifestyle & religion. It came with big consequences. My family disowned me. They still don't speak to me after 4 years. I had no education, no career history, no way of navigating this world that was so hidden from me. It's an uphill battle everyday, still. I came out as queer. I live an authentic life. I thank Hazel for showing me what I was made of and liberating me from a subservient life full of deep depression.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I wish birth and women's bodies were normalized. I wish to live in a space where we can share and empower each other. I think the best way is to start with ourselves. I want to be seen and not objectified.