Abigail Glisson (30 - she/her), Isaac (3), and Tabitha (15 mo)
Atlanta, GA
“I had one miscarriage shortly after we started trying for our second child. Despite knowing the statistics, I never thought miscarriage would happen to me. Before my experience, I had no idea that miscarriage was not a single-moment event. It ended up being a long process, drawn out for weeks. At the end, I was so tired of unknowns, I almost thought we shouldn't try again. Then I ended up with secondary infertility, which will teach you just how much you want that child. I no longer identify strongly as a woman who lost a child because I truly believe that my daughter is the living, healthy embodiment of that little soul who first tried to make their entrance at the wrong time.”
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Becoming a mother has overall had a positive impact on my body image, but it hasn't been the magic pill for everything. I no longer disparage my body, and I have a huge amount of respect for growing and nourishing two healthy children. I am in awe of its capabilities. But I'm still a long way from actively loving my body. I have not yet rediscovered my sensuous side; it's been too hard to reintegrate my "mother" self with my "woman" self. I appreciate my body for being strong as hell, being able to play with my kids, carry both of them when I need to, and feel extremely capable. Feeling sexy in my own skin is an ongoing challenge though.
What was your postpartum experience?
My postpartum journeys have been very different. After I had my son, I felt like I had to prove something. I rushed back to the gym and tried to pretend like nothing happened to my body or self. Although nothing terrible happened to me physically, I did not begin to honor my identity as a mother until my son was about 9 months old. When I finally gave myself over to my intuition, I was sad for losing those first months trying to live up to how I thought I was "supposed to" be mothering my child. I have bonded with my daughter so much more quickly and easily because I have parented her authentically from the beginning.
What is one piece of knowledge you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
Honor your child as a fully formed human and respond to their needs with your whole heart. Parenting will teach you lessons in selflessness that cannot be learned in any other life experience, so let parenthood change you into a better person.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I value authenticity. I hope that my experience with the 4th Trimester Bodies Project will help me honor my story thus far and validate the profound experiences I've had in transforming into a mother.