Jillian Homan (31 - she/her - 9 weeks pregnant) and Michael (4)
New York | Atlanta, GA
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
When I first found out I was pregnant I had been dieting and punishing my body through workouts sense I was a teen. I was constantly wanting to be thinner and would say my eating was disordered and restrictive. In fact my closet friends voiced concern when I announced my pregnancy that I would be too strict with my eating. However, I found that I finally felt ok in my skin and that I began to listen to my body when I was pregnant. I started to love my body as it changed. After having my child and breastfeeding him for over three years, this began my journey with intuitive eating. Slowly, I found peace with my body and food even as it changed through the past five years.
What was your postpartum experience?
Immediately following the birth of my son, my postpartum experience was positive. My birth experience was positive because I felt supported by my providers and partner. I believe this contributed to feeling strong and connected with my body, especially the first few months. I also felt confident those first few months with my ability to parent, even despite breastfeeding through a tongue tie (that we eventually did decide to release). During the first year, I continued to feel supported and surrounded by my partner, friends, and family. However, as the months went on and my child grew into a toddler. I found my confidence severely plummeted. I found the toddler years intense and that was largely impacted by many life aspects not just my child’s intensity.
We had some significant life changes, including two moves and a shift of me becoming the care taker for my mother as she went through cancer treatment. I began to be very overwhelmed with feeling like I was always giving and caring and became depleted emotionally. It took the past two years to crawl out of that darker emotional place by seeking help from a therapist, learning to set boundaries and slowly I began to build my confidence as a person and a parent again.
What is your truth?
It is ok to set boundaries for yourself, ask for help, and admit you are not enjoying every moment of your journey into parenthood.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I found this movement and ash’s work in the midst of feeling very overwhelmed by parenthood. Reading other’s stories and journeys helped me feel not so alone. I think is important to share our experiences, our authentic stories, and show or bodies unapologetically. By doing so, I hope we continue to break down the barriers of judgment we face and begin to see each other as humans all connected.