Therese Totten (35 - she/her), Jmike (7), and Anya (1.5)
Manila, Philippines | Houston, TX
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
My body used to worry me and make me anxious in that I wish it were smaller, thinner. Now, I am grateful at how it has birthed my two children and that it allows me to do things with and for them. It is not the thinnest or most fit or lean, but it is capable and steady and strong.
What was your postpartum experience?
I had a hard postpartum journey with my first born. I wasn’t prepared for how motherhood would be, we were isolated with no family, and I’m an only child. I had a textbook birth, at home, with a great midwife and doula, and still my birth didn’t feel amazing to me. I felt totally disconnected from my son but I also knew I had to keep him alive: that was my job. It was the only goal I had and only connection with him at first. I feel ashamed to say that when he was born, I felt nothing. It took me a while to consider another child. When we had our second, though, I had a fitness community, a different doula, my son’s schoolfriend parents, and I meditated almost every night. They were all game changers. My second homebirth was pain and joy. Mostly joy. Plus I didn’t tear vs the first time. I also didn’t rush recovery. Birth is hard, but for me, the after was the real challenge. Community matters so much.
What is your truth?
Do your best and follow your gut.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I heard about the 4th Trimester project from a friend and thought how empowering it was and how it represents our differences, and how we are all one, at once.