Rachael (31 - she/her), Paul (2), and Connor (11 mo)
Boston, MA
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I was involved in an intensive ballet and modern dance training program during my early adolescence and formative years. This experience gave me many gifts, including self-expression, mindfulness, and a deep connection to and awareness of my body… and left some scars. In dance my body was both an instrument, one to be revered and cared for, and an ornament, because the rigor of training and demand that the audience never see the pain. As an adult, I have worked hard to bring compassion and choice to my body, but it hasn't been easy. Parenthood has proved to be the biggest opportunity to enact my evolved outlook. I loved my pregnant body, both times, though it may be easier to say so in retrospect. Postpartum, I continue to work to bring self-compassion and gratitude for all that my body has done for my kids, and to take moments to pause and ask what I need. To me, body image and body utilization are so intertwined it's difficult to answer one without thinking about the other.
What was your postpartum experience?
Euphoric at first, and then increasingly exhausting and taxing for the first six months. I have found after both pregnancies, that the hardest period for me and my family is months 5-6, when the sleep deprivation has most accumulated, and we're far enough into the post of postpartum that I am less able and inclined to incorporate compassionate self-care. The biggest lesson I learned from my first to my second was to strip away my pride and to ask for help. My older son and I struggled through breastfeeding for a year, including repeated biting beginning at 5 months, before I sought in person consultation. I do consider myself to be deep in the trenches of postpartum, on the cusp of marking 4 years of pregnant and/or nursing and caring for (a) little one(s).
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
You are entitled to this experience for yourself and your child, regardless of what that is. Try to let go of the expectations of others to attend to the needs of your family. Let people in to your fragility in pregnancy and early parenthood, but only those who can hold it, and you.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
As an act of bravery for myself. To live out and practice what I hope to teach my children about self-regard and unconditional love. Also, I have SO benefitted from reading the experiences of others, in this forum and others, that I feel drawn to share aspects of my story as well.