Jaimee Stoll De Pompeo (32 - she/her) and Romee (2)
Salinas, California {Virtual session captured over CLOS}
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Having grown up an athlete, I had always associated my body with strength and capability. I learned that the value of my body was in its ability to perform and I worked hard to stay fit for most of my life. But adulthood kicked in and my fitness habits slowed down and I was in the worst shape of my life when I got pregnant. I felt really great during pregnancy, particularly the third trimester, but after the birth of Romee it became clear that I was harboring a lot of negative feelings around my body. Things changed in so many ways and I am still struggling with the concept that my body may never be as strong (in the typical sense) as it once was but that it has become strong in a new, different, and meaningful way. I exclusively nursed Romee for the first six months and she is still nursing today which I am very proud of. Learning that my body can be strong enough to nurture my child has been an uplifting and hopeful lesson for me as I have been navigating the years of negative associations with my body that I brought with me into adulthood and parenthood.
What was your postpartum experience?
I had a very uncomplicated pregnancy and was planning a homebirth but after 36 hours of labor at home I transferred to the hospital where Romee was born vaginally with no issues. Despite the fact that I was very much in control of my birth experience, my immediate postpartum days were spent mourning the birth that I wanted and beating myself up over not being able to physically perform in the way I thought that I needed to. There was a feeling of weakness and ineptness that has lingered in certain ways even two years later. My confidence as a mother was deeply impacted by not having the birth that I wanted. I returned to work when Romee was only three weeks old and I felt the impact of that lack of healing time as well. Exhaustion, discomfort, and lack of support contributed to the blur of the first year or so. There were so many pressures and expectations that I didn't anticipate and my anxiety spiked for many months. Looking back on it, I was so engulfed by my anxiety I couldn't even see what was happening or what I needed to be ok. I've learned so much about what it means to take care of myself and trust my instincts, and I know that I will keep learning these things and hopefully pass on this wisdom to Romee.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
You and only you knows what you your family needs. Advice and support is important and good but ultimately our own inner guidance is what really matters.
How has your (pregnancy/birth/postpartum/parenting) been affected by COVID-19?
I was able to be home with Romee so much more because of COVID and while it was challenging many times, it also felt like a delayed maternity leave that I never really got. Now that she is older and more social I am very happy that I will soon be able to take her out into the world and nurture the social part of her as well.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
There was so much I did not know or did not realize before I became pregnant, despite having been involved with the birth world for several years. I am grateful to projects like these that cast our experiences as birthing people and parents in normal and loving lights, even when we do not always feel normal or loving towards ourselves.