I got to visit with Amy again yesterday exactly two weeks post op.

“Surgery went smoothly and recovery so far is not as bad as I expected. I did almost pass out when the doc removed the bandages the morning after surgery and I got my first look. My scars were longer than I thought they would be, going all the way into my armpits.

The worst part was the drains! I knew I would have them, but I had no idea how long they would be, they went from the middle of my ribs, up over the top of the chest and into each armpit. And the fluid they collected had to be emptied, measured, and recorded twice a day.

I was released from the hospital about 21 hours after surgery.

On day 3, I was determined to attend a Friendsgiving celebration, even though we didn't stay late. By day 6, I was healing well enough to get my drains out, when most people need them in for 10-14 days. Removal was INTENSE, and didn't really change my discomfort level. The space they had occupied was still so sore.

I went home and showered with my husband and had a cry. Part of it was physical pain, but there was also mourning. I am confident I made the right choice, but it was still hard to see.

On day 10, I turned a corner and started to feel like me again. I could lift my arms over shoulder height and put on pull-over shirts! On day 13, I got a massage and had my stitches and staples removed. And on day 14, I got to see the wonderful Ash and document this step in my journey. This has been one hell of a year, and I am hoping the only drama I see in 2020 is an impeachment trial!!”

You can read Amy’s full story here.

Amy Middleton (37 - they/them), parent to Kaia (11), Soleil (9), Leo (4), and "Baby bird" lost at 9wks in Jan 2018

You can view Amy’s photos from 2014 here and 2015 here

Chicago, IL

“In October of 2017, we decided to give it one month to try to have another baby. That month passed without success, so we agreed we were done. Of course, we got pregnant the following month! We had mixed feelings, but were ultimately excited to add to our family.

However, whenever we would talk about it with Leo (2) he told us "no baby". At 9 weeks, while playing with Leo at the library, I started bleeding. I texted my doula/friend and my husband. Bleeding continued so my husband left work and came home. Our friend came over to watch our children and Ben and I went to the hospital where it was confirmed I was miscarrying. The following days were some of the hardest of my life. The pains, the blood, the well-meaning but overwhelming barrage of calls and texts from friends and family.

Ultimately, I passed two fairly large blood clots, one with a small heart-shaped hole in it. I couldn't bring myself to dispose of them, and placed them in a plastic bag in the freezer. When baby's due date came around, we buried those clots under a new lilac bush in the front yard. The bush has yet to flower.

How has parenthood impacted your body image?

Parenthood has just cemented the idea that I should appreciate my body for what it can DO, not for what it looks like.

Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?

I participated to celebrate my freedom after divorce, to celebrate finding a new love and having another baby, and now I'm celebrating my boobs! Earlier this year, I learned through DNA testing that I had been lied to for 36 years about who my father was, and that I was actually a product of donor conception.

I learned that I was half-Jewish, and since Ashkenazi Jews are at high risk for certain medical conditions, I decided to have further genetic testing done and learned that I carried a BRCA2 mutation. BRCA "mutants" are at higher risk for several cancers, most notably breast and ovarian. I then faced some hard decisions about whether to monitor those with frequent testing, or choose prophylactic surgeries.

Choosing oophorectomy was a no-brainer, as that cancer is usually not found until it is at a late stage. I had my ovaries and Fallopian tubes removed this past August. Choosing what to do in regards to my breasts was a bit harder. Family history plays an important part in that decision, but despite several attempts to contact my donor and his family, I had no knowledge in that area. I also have dense breasts, which can make testing a bit more complicated. So, I decided I would have a bilateral mastectomy, and am going flat. I did not want the possible complications or revisions that are associated with breast reconstruction. So, this photo shoot is a way of saying goodbye to my boobs, after nursing 3 kids, for over 7.5 years. Thanks for the mammaries!”