Lori Hamre-Jenkins (38 - she/her), Gus (7 - not pictured), Lila (5), and Stella (8 weeks)
Iowa | Atlanta, GA
“{I’ve had} a couple of early losses but the most difficult loss physically and emotionally was an ectopic pregnancy in the fall of 2017. Very early on I knew something didn't feel right, I asked repeatedly for an ultrasound until finally at nearly 8 weeks gestation my healthcare providers confirmed what I had suspected for weeks. The ordeal continued in the ER where I was pressed to quickly make a decision about how to proceed, which bothers me to this day since I begged for 5 weeks to be diagnosed and then became very ill for many weeks following the medication given in the ER. This one example of how hard it was to adequately advocate for myself and receive proper care as an educated suburban, white woman illustrates how absolutely backward and unjust our entire healthcare system is, I know I live in a state with a ridiculously high maternal mortality rate, worse so for Black women, and I am among a growing number of community organizers and activists who will not be quiet and will not stop fighting until we change this.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Becoming a parent has lessened my inhibitions. This body has experienced pregnancy and loss, unmedicated labor and birth, significant pregnancy complications which were different with each full term pregnancy, extended breastfeeding. This is my body, it is imperfect, beautiful, capable & strong.
What was your postpartum experience?
I am still adjusting, still figuring this postpartum thing out! The isolation is very difficult for me, that was the most surprising and heartbreaking after the birth of my first child. Following the birth of my second child, a daughter, my anxiety went into overdrive and some of the worst of my PTSD symptoms reappeared that hadn't been an issue for me in over 10 years. I was able to seek help in talk therapy and at least see some logic in why that was happening. This third time around has been physically more difficult than previously but I tried to prepare for the anxiety and isolation and I am working on asking for support when I need it. One or two dear friends to check in with via text or a phone call can be a lifesaver.
What is your truth? What is one piece of knowledge you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
I have always wanted to be a mama and I am so lucky I met another human about 11 years ago that wanted to be a parent with me. We are so lucky to have three amazing children. But it isn’t easy, we are probably making parenting mistakes every day. I hope that our kids grow to be generous, kind, hardworking, loving and honest. I hope that we can leave them a society that is more fair, free, open and just for all.
Also for all pregnant people: Educate yourself about your options and advocate for yourself every step of the way, pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Even when I did not feel respected or was not listened to or my wishes were not honored, some were and it was good practice for parenthood and it taught me how to advocate for my children.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I love that this project embodies the personal is political, each story unique and familiar at the same time. I have been both empowered and very disappointed by the care I have received during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. I hated being made to give birth in the hospital bed on my back my first two births, I am angry that much of my birth plans were disregarded, I have not felt comfortable sharing how sad or anxious I am during the standard postpartum follow up appointment but this third birth just eight weeks ago I got out of that hospital bed, kneeled on the floor and gave birth to a beautiful baby in a way that made sense to my body. I did not feel very supported by those attending my birth but I asserted myself in that moment and I am here to be courageous and assertive from now on.