Stephanie Ohayon Flak (38), mother to Julien (12 - not pictured), Eve (11), and Sophie (12 weeks) and bonus mom to Gavin (14) and Charisma (11)
Quebec | Reno, NV
Stephanie shares -
“I had an abortion prior to my first marriage. We weren’t ready. Or rather, I believed I wasn’t ready. So I did what I thought was the right thing to do. What I thought someone in my situation should do. We eventually went on to get married and have children... we had a son, followed by a daughter, and then a divorce.
After having had two beautiful children my twenty something year old self was rocked by a divorce. I felt I had failed as a parent. My confidence was shattered. I worried about cellulite and stretch marks. And I especially worried about what everyone else thought of me. 11 years later I’ve gained so much maturity. I’ve remarried, inherited a couple of children and recently welcomed a new baby girl. My self confidence is back and I’ve come to look at my imperfections as a road map. Each one representing a part of the journey that got me to where I am today. Now when I look in the mirror and see my boobs that are different sizes I smile and think of my kids.
My daughter Eve was two when I realized that my first marriage was over. My ex-husband and I had managed to check all the boxes. We fell in love, got engaged, and got married. We had a son and then a daughter. Check, check. We bought our first home. Check. Everything was the perfect fairytale... until it wasn’t. Major fail. I found myself in my late twenties getting divorced. My family was broken. I no longer fit into societies expectations. I certainly would never have guessed that it was the best thing that could happen to me. It helped me to grow and accept that not everything amazing has to fit into societies expectations.
I met my husband, Haakon, not long after. We randomly met in a bar only to walk into the same day care two weeks later. Our kids already knew each other! It felt rather kismet. At first we decided we weren’t going to have anymore children. 4 was more then enough. More would be crazy! But 8 years in we changed our minds.
Sophie was born at the end of May, she has been such an incredible experience. Instead of having a child because we were expected to (checking a box), we did because we wanted to. So we made the effort to appreciate every little step. We had fun telling the kids we were pregnant, right as they were taking off on a roller coaster. Their faces were so funny! We took the whole gang to do a 3D ultrasound and our two girls got to witness the birth of their baby sister (the boys would have joined too but the hospital limited the number of people in the room). The girls, at 11 years old, even got to trim the umbilical cord back together.
Pregnancy at 38 includes the diagnosis of “advanced maternal age”. It almost feels like some big stop sign. “Don’t do it! You’re too old to have kids.” Clearly that is not the case, but it did give us a good laugh. A lot of people told us we were crazy for starting over but I’m so glad we did. Having a child in my late thirties has made me appreciate things so much more. Especially when the epidural failed and I got to feel what childbirth really is like. Wow, what an experience. Also, successfully breastfeeding my third child because I’m not hung up on stigmas. Realizing my choices has given me a sense of empowerment and I feel like I’m a better version of myself because of it.
{I chose to participate due to} Individual positivity and the belief in overcoming fears. A way to reward finding my strength and believing in my desires. Sharing that positivity with my daughters.”