Amanda Mizell (33), Lorenzo (6), Mila (3), and Zayn (9 months). Amanda also experienced a loss in 2014
Amanda shares -
“ Parenthood has impacted my own body image both negatively and positively. I’ve struggled with my weight for my entire life so it wasn’t something new for me to grow with each pregnancy. On one hand, birth and breastfeeding make me feel powerful and amazed at what my body is capable of. On the other hand, loss and the feelings that come along with obesity create the opposite feelings.
Although I didn’t recognize it at the time, the postpartum period following Lorenzo and Mila’s births was great. I had amazing support and felt happy with the exception of mild baby blues. I was lucky enough to have exactly the births I wanted at home and ease with nursing each time.
The time after miscarrying and having Zayn, my 3rd child, were quite different. The support was still there but I felt deep depression. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and was filled with self doubt and feelings of worthlessness. There was a period that I just knew my kids would be better off without me. I was consumed with guilt that I couldn’t find happiness while holding this beautiful healthy baby boy.
I put so much into loving my family that somewhere along the way I forgot to love myself. No matter what my body looks like I carried, birthed, and fed 3 amazing little humans.
Since my last baby was born I’ve had so many dark moments. I’ve spent so much time hating and beating myself up. I want more light! I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want my sons and daughter to grow up seeing a mom who appreciates and loves herself and her body so that they will do the same.”