Naomi Puckett (36 - she/her), Amelia (7), Nora (4), Channing (would be 2), and Stella (8 mo)
Washington, DC
“I have experienced loss in a traumatic and unimaginable way. I was supposed to have an uncomplicated, healing second homebirth much like my first, but it didn’t end up that way. My baby boy Channing died in labor from a raging bacterial infection that put me into septic shock. All because of a fraudulent and negligent woman who claimed to be a midwife. I hired her to keep my birth, my baby and myself safe. She failed us because she was in fact not a midwife at all. She lied about who she was and has left my family in forever devastation.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I have always known that parenthood was for me. I have never had a positive image of my physical self. I have always been overweight and was raised to view it as my self worth. Being put down because I deserved it because of how I was supposed to look.
Pregnancy gave me and my body a purpose. Nourishing and growing a precious life and the expansion of my body was seen as a positive thing. Each of my pregnancy experiences have been positive. No medical complications during gestation and I have always felt most beautiful during.
What was your postpartum experience?
I have had 4 different postpartum experiences. Each with their own individual importance. My first baby was a C-section recovery. Not only was I physically recovering but I also was emotionally recovering from feeling robbed of the birth experience I wanted. My second baby was a healing home birth vbac. I did a lot of research to achieve the birth I deserved. I was on a birth high for a long time leading into my next pregnancy. I was confident that having a second home birth vbac was the right path for me. My world came crashing down with my third baby. My baby who was supposed to be brought in peacefully but died tragically because red flags were ignored. So I was left in the hospital with a cesarean scar, a picc line in my arm for antibiotic administration, engorged breasts and no baby to nourish. When I found out I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, I knew this was a huge process and focus. I also knew that everything I had learned about my second pregnancy, everything I fought for, was flushed. I knew that a cesarean was inevitable and in fact something I knew I needed as my outcome. I have come full circle in my motherhood journey. From being devastated of grieving a birth experience to actually grieving a child because of what I fought for for my birth experience.
What is your truth?
My truth is the truth for my son. I always felt how I gave birth ( cesarean vs vaginal) was a worth of my value. If I had a cesarean, I was a failure. If I didn’t think that way, my son would still be here today. I felt mainstream prenatal care was against me based on being labeled. “Once a C-section ,always a C-section” was not a view I wanted to succumb to. But after my experience of loss because of trusting someone who was supposed to help me achieve the birth I needed it has taught me the truth of my worth as a mother isn’t the way my baby is brought into this world.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I’ve always wanted to participate in this project, even before my son’s death. My prenatal and postpartum journey has defined who I am as a person.