Kayla Mundt (30 - she/her), Judah (5), Sawyer (2), and Levi (1). You can view Kayla’s original photo and story from 2015 here.
New Orleans, LA
“My first ultrasound with my second pregnancy was at 9 weeks. I instantly knew something was off, but the tech just told us we would have to go down the street to my OB’s office for the results. Then she told us, “there’s no heartbeat.” The baby measured exactly 9 weeks, but had no heartbeat. We held onto so much hope that the ultrasound was an error for a whole week before I started cramping. I had been planning a home birth and wanted to miscarry unmedicated if possible.
I delivered the baby and placenta at home in the middle of the night. Baby was in the amniotic sac, and both baby and placenta were whole. We were able to bury baby and it helped me emotionally heal. It was hard being the first of my friends (that I knew of) to miscarry and not having an idea of what to expect. I think what was most unexpected and difficult was after. The postpartum return to hormonal regularity still happens. The mood swings and postpartum anxiety, even though baby wasn’t term or on earth. My friends and family were so supportive but didn’t personally understand and that felt isolating. I planned on giving my body a month of normal cycle to reset before trying to conceive again, but we surprisingly conceived within the month with our rainbow baby.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Before having children, when I looked at my body, all I could see was how I wished it were different. I wished it were curvier and softer and flatter and fuller. Now I have so much respect and adoration for my body. It is far less “perfect” by societal standards, but all I see if power. The unstoppable force that carries and delivered my perfect babies. I see the commitment to be patient and carry beyond my limits. I see the sacrifice and selflessness of their deliveries. I see the body that has sustained and grown life for five years. I see the reminders that we grow and change and bend but don’t break. I think it’s beautiful.
What is your truth?
You have everything you need. Deep in your gut and your heart and your soul, you know your baby better than anyone. And you were made for this.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I participated in 2015 to celebrate my body and accomplishments as a mother of one. My journey to motherhood was emotionally difficult with our NICU baby. This project and helped me heal and honor that journey. Now, I’ve come so much further and so much more in love with my body and babies.