Vanessa Young (33 - she/her), Tristram (4), Oriana (2), and Leoric (3 months)
You can view Vanessa’s original image from 2018 here.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Pregnancy and parenthood have evolved my body image into awe and respect for what my body is able to do. But it was not a straight path arriving there. After my first being premature I viewed my body as a failure in many ways and did not show it the respect it deserved. Following my second I regained some hope in my body’s ability to grow another human to term, but still did not show it the love it deserved postpartum pushing too much too soon. Finally after my third I have come to stand in awe after a full term pregnancy and surprise breech birth, along with a true healing sacred fourth trimester. Now I remind myself daily that the softer belly held 3 sweet souls, the heavy sagging breasts have nourished all 3 and the extra wrinkles and gray hair are from loving and laughing with my 3 little loves.
What was your postpartum experience?
My first postpartum experience had nothing to do with me and everything to do with survival with a baby in NICU. It included a year of denial of my mental health and the burden of PTSD and PPA. With therapy in place my second postpartum experience was slightly better until the anxiety crept in around 2 months. I also pushed my body too far too soon resulting in pelvic floor weakness that took a year to discover and resolve with physical therapy. My third I wanted to finally give myself that time to heal and did with the support of a postpartum doula, family and friends. I finally decided to reach out for support of medication after PPA and PPD presented at that 2 month mark. While humbling, I so wish I had added the support of antidepressants after my first. I am grateful that now I can enjoy my children and create memories vs being anxious and teary most days.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
It is ok to ask for help and you are so powerful and strong. How is it was for me to fall into the trap of thinking I wasn’t enough or could do it all myself, when so many are willing to support and I am more than enough. I hope all new parents can see their strength.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I believe in unveiling the truth behind postpartum in all its raw beauty and love the way Ash so artistically does this. The first time participating was so powerful for me in my parenthood journey I knew I had to do it once my family was complete.