Tracy Smith

The stunning Tracy Smith, Emma (16), Dexter (5), and Caden (3).

Tracy knew she wanted to start her family early and was able to conceive Emma after about a year of trying when she was just 21. She had a healthy pregnancy and though she wasn't very educated or opinionated at the time, knew she'd like to have a vaginal delivery. Unfortunately, Emma went from being engaged to having her cord prolapse and a typical delivery turned into an emergency very quickly. Tracy was rushed to the OR with a nurse's hand inside her keeping pressure off of Emma's cord and put under for surgery. She woke up in a room, alone, uncertain what had happened. Emma was not breathing when she was born and needed to be intubated in NICU. It would be two days before Tracy was able to meet her baby and while they both made a full recovery the experience is still emotional to recount. 

When Tracy was ready to add to her family she knew that she'd like to VBAC. She says there was a point she would have sold her soul to have a vaginal birth after her cesarean. They found a doctor that seemed very supportive but as she got near term he seemed to waffle a bit and showed concerns for she and the babies health that didn't feel warranted. Still she trusted her provider and when he said it was time, went to the hospital to have her baby. Tracy had had a cerclage placed due to concerns of an "incompetent cervix" which had come out without complication but labor never naturally started. Tracy was so heavily medicated during her delivery that she didn't feel like an active participant but was still grateful in the end to have had a vaginal birth. 

About two years later, Tracy and her husband decided to have their third and final baby and chose to use the same provider. He was again seemingly supportive of their desires and they made it clear to him that with them less was more, they wanted to be in charge of choices and informed in their care. Tracy's pregnancy was high risk due to a single umbilical artery so she was also seen by a fetal specialist. Near the end of her pregnancy her doctor again began pushing delivery but knowing that things looked fine on the specialists end, they refused induction. She did agree to overnight hospital monitoring which showed that both she and baby were doing great at 39 weeks. Her doctor became angry and yelled at Tracy and her husband for not agreeing to induce so they left his care and found a new provider at 40 weeks. Tracy knew it wasn't time for her baby to arrive but when they learned that Caden had a nuchal cord and his fluid was lessening a couple weeks later felt ready to go. She was able to spend an intentional evening with her older children and husband before going to the hospital to have her waters broken the following morning. 

Labor started shortly thereafter and Tracy was able to walk the halls and labor in the shower. She was fully supported by her husband and doula and felt amazingly in control of her experience. When she felt ready to push, Tracy lay in bed on her side and began pushing through contractions. She remember her doctor coming in and just sitting on the bed beside her quietly waiting for her to do the work. The experience was exactly what she needed. 

Tracy says that her birth stories are different from those she imagined but they are all so dynamic. It was important for her to be able to share them all in on place.  "I've wanted to participate for years and finally able to now. I've always felt the most beautiful being pregnant and am amazed at what a woman's body can do to nurture life. I think it's important to tell my story, as it's as unique as me."

Kethra Ramert and Markie Shiflea

The radiant Kethra Ramert and Markie Shiflea with their sons Flint (2) and Madden (2).

Kethra is also mother to Amber (17), RubyLee (12), and Copper (February 22, 2013). 

Markie is also mother to Teagan (4.5), Adalyn (September 16, 2012), and Evan (7 months).

Kethra and Markie are cousins from a big Catholic family and have been close for most of their lives. They never imagined, however, that motherhood would bond them in the ways that it has. Through loss, grief, and rainbow babies they have found a closeness and connection that transcends their relationship as friends and family. 

When Markie was pregnant with her second child in 2012, she began to experience bleeding. The bleeding became more and more severe and she was diagnosed with a placental abruption. Markie's baby was still doing well so she was put on bed rest to see if her body would heal. Unfortunately, she continued to bleed and passed grapefruit sized clots and was ultimately put on completely flat bed rest in the hospital. While Markie's baby continued to do well, the clots and blood she was passing caused her to begin to contract and she ended up delivering her daughter Adalyn at 22 weeks, 5 days gestation. 

In the moment's after Adalyn's birth, and death, a nurse told Markie her daughter was perfect, she was just too small and that sentiment has stuck with her. Markie needed to have blood transfusions and was so grateful that the hospital staff took photos of Adalyn and created keep sakes for them while they were in the haze of trying to navigate all that had happened. Markie was grateful to know her daughter was perfect but struggled with feeling her body had failed her and done this. 

Markie was one of five of her cousin's pregnant at the same time and the first to ever lose a baby. Knowing how to relate to respond to her grief and how to relate to still pregnant family members was trying but her family did so with grace. 

Kethra was one of Markie's cousins who was pregnant at the time. She and her husband had conceived their first son with the help of IVF and she was enjoying a healthy, "text book" pregnancy. Kethra had planned to deliver at home and as labor progressed her midwives joined to support her. After having trouble finding heart tones they realized that the baby's cord was prolapsing and called an ambulance to rush them to the hospital. Being in the midst of labor, Kethra was retreated within herself and unable to talk. She didn't fully comprehend what was happening but understood there was an emergency and they needed to get to the hospital. When they arrived, things were frantic and then, they were calm. A doctor came in to perform her ultrasound and told her that he was sorry - Copper didn't have a heart beat. 

Kethra remembers her husband taking her face in his hands and telling her to just look at him. She recalls asking her midwives if they could just take her baby out, if they could give her medicine so she just wouldn't feel anything and they wisely told her that what was happening was the medicine, she needed to deliver her baby. Kethra gave birth to Copper soon after and says that it was surreal how "normal" everything seemed. He was put to her chest and she held him as her family and nurses cried. They took pictures, her doctor reassured her that these things happen sadly, even in the hospital, she understood there was nothing more she could have done. 

In the months after, as they grieved, Kethra and her husband understood that they wanted to have another baby soon and they had seven other embryo's ready due to their previous IVF treatment. They gave themselves six months and decided to try again. At the same time, Markie and her husband had decided that they too were ready to try and both cousins conceived very soon to one another. 

These pregnancies brought some trepidation and anxiety, as those following a devastating loss will do but both remained very healthy and both Kethra and Markie delivered baby boys, Flint and Madden, without complication just four days apart. In their grief and in the new life brought forth from it, they are bonded more strongly than ever before. Both Kethra and Markie acknowledge that though they long for their children who don't get to be here they simultaneously understand the weight of having the children who wouldn't be here if they had. Kethra considers Flint to be Copper's twin as their embryos were fertilized and frozen on the same day and Markie knows that had Adalyn survived the trauma of the experience and her care very likely would have prevented them from growing their family. 

While both women were drawn to this movement at different times, sharing their stories together was incredibly important to them. 

Sarah Pruett

The stunning Sarah Pruett, James (4) and Charlie (22 months).

Sarah and her husband conceived James before they felt like they had it all together but were excited to make it all work. Her pregnancy went smoothly but labor and delivery were more intense. Sarah didn't have any issues dilating and was complete but James just wasn't coming down. She began pushing at 10pm and continued throughout the night. Her doctor tried a vacuum extraction and at 7am they decided that there wasn't anything more they could do but deliver via cesarean. James was born without complication but Sarah was entirely depleted. She was joyful but didn't feel as if she had any energy left to great him with. Thankfully, recovery went well for Sarah as did breastfeeding. 

When James was two, they decided to try for another so that he would have a sibling close in age and were able to conceive without any issues. At seven weeks, Sarah miscarried which was very difficult to navigate. She got pregnant with Charlie just after and was so grateful that things were going well. At 23 weeks, Sarah began having some bleeding and then woke up in the middle of the night to find her water had broke. She called her midwife who found a hospital with space as well as an open NICU who could take her. The first time Sarah heard the word NICU she said no. She wasn't one of "those" moms, her baby was going to stay just where she was. 

They were able to stabilize her with medication and she remained in the hospital until she Charlie arrived. Sarah was thrilled to make it to 30 weeks and remembers hearing so many babies crying. She was in an overflow area of the hospital and wasn't used to having babies nearby. When she asked the nurse what was happening she told her that there was a super moon and all the babies were coming. Sarah fell asleep and woke up around 3am realizing Charlie's cord had prolapsed. She pulled the emergency cord and began screaming. Nurses came running and one nurse, who she says is her angel, reached inside her to lift Charlie up and decompress her cord. It was only six minutes from the time she called the nurses until Charlie was born but it felt like an eternity. 

She had wanted nothing more than to be present when he was born but had to be put under completely. When Sarah woke up she was eager to learn if she'd had a boy or girl but under the circumstances, learning his sex was quite anti-climactic. She was soon able to get to the NICU to see him and from there they began to work towards home. It was difficult to navigate the care of James at home and Charlie in the hospital but they made it work and after a smooth NICU journey he was able to come home at 38 weeks. Sarah was determined to breastfeed and despite some challenges was successful. 

Story telling and sharing are such a gift we can give each other and Sarah found that she benefited greatly from seeing and reading other women's experiences while she sat in the NICU with her son waiting to be able to take him home. Her body has changed greatly during pregnancy and she hasn't lost the baby weight but that's okay. She's strong and her body physically cares for her children daily. There is no room for feeling failure or inadequacy when she's so busy cherishing her ability to mother them.