Carrie Cunningham (32) and Theo Cross (14 months)
Photographed in Austin, TX
Carrie shares -
"Some impacts {of parenthood on my body} have been very positive and some adjustments have been hard. I felt incredibly good while pregnant and enjoyed my body that way. I have felt grateful and happy with my body postpartum for the most part, but breastfeeding has totally zapped my energy and interest in exercise, which was very disappointing, and changed my intimate life, as one might expect. Finding that active, confident, and fit part of myself again, that was strong prior to pregnancy and during pregnancy is a constant battle, complicated by also allotting time that frequently means I would have to be away from my son. The best thing I can do is remind myself this is all a season and that's a common refrain for me. I look forward to trying for another pregnancy again in the next year or so and hope that my experience is similar to my first, though I know that I am exponentially busier and not starting from the same point. I hope I can prioritize some time and space for self-care and fitness and cement those habits into my next pregnancy in a sustainable way.
My postpartum has been very joyful for me. I was very averse to having interventions in my birth, and especially fearful of hospital environments and the potential of surgery (I have never had surgery or been admitted to a hospital). Each step of reflecting on this process for me is an act of gratitude - my midwife and I met and our values aligned, plus she accepted my insurance (which was such a blessing and privilege). Getting to know her and apprentice and prepare for my baby with their care was peaceful and low stress. I listened to TONS of birth stories via the Birth Hour podcast and walked 3-5 miles a day - it was meditative and helped me wrap my mind around focusing on what I could control and not what I could not.
My son was born at home with my husband, my midwife Julia and her apprentice April, and our birth photographer (one of my most cherished possessions is our photos) and it was, wonderfully, without any significant complications.
Postpartum was challenging for reasons that now feel very far away, specifically because it was the first time I was experiencing engorgement, those huge hormonal changes, and having someone need me 24hrs a day coupled with significant homebound loneliness. I think it was not totally unexpected, but the details of breastfeeding are absolutely a lost oral cultural art that we no longer learn and see from women around us, which was a bit of a shock. Nobody talks about it before its happening to you! But every challenge was also bolstered by 1000 amazing faces, fingers, toes, hilarious poops, and snuggles. I am definitely one of the lucky parents who had adequate time off and an incredible care provider, partner, and family support to really enjoy my postpartum period prior to returning to work. I try to be mindful and gracious for that every single day.
Preparing for childbirth and new parenthood fixates a great deal on the birth (only one day, hopefully!) and not on the next 50 years of your new identity. Sourcing communities via social media like 4th Trimester Bodies that celebrate and discuss new parenthood has been crucial for me to make sense of slogging parts of this seasonal life stage. I was so fortunate to have a birth that was hard, but joyful and a source of pride for me, and I hope that spaces like this can share both the joy and the trauma of new parenthood - the space to share safely is so invaluable, I am really excited to participate in that."