Jewell Campbell (22 - she/her), Elliot (2) , and Violet (10 months)
Atlanta, GA
“I’ve had 5 miscarriages since July 2015. Each one an early miscarriage but each difficult in its own way.
I had 2 before Elliot- July 2015 and February 2016. Then 3 after him but before violet- February 2017, July 2017, and October 2017.
I didn’t really tell anyone about them besides my husband and I didn’t even tell my husband (then boyfriend) about the first loss until about 2 years ago because it was so difficult. My most recent miscarriage was probably the hardest of them all. I lost the baby in my car while taking my son home from his great grandmothers. I lost more blood than I ever had or maybe it was the same amount but seeing it all on the seat of my car terrified me. I didn’t even think to call an ambulance. Thankfully my best friend and her mom were able to help me through it.
Violet was born exactly one year to the day after my last miscarriage and I think that that honestly helped me heal the most from that experience.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Ive always struggled with my body image and honestly i think i’ve struggled more since becoming a mother. My stomach has lots of extra skin I jiggle in all the places I didn’t before. It’s upsetting to me especially because I already struggled so much. I’m only 22 so I see people my age and I can’t help but judge myself more harshly than I should.
I strive everyday to do better though. Especially about how I speak about my body not only to myself but around my kids. I want them both to know that all bodies are good bodies. And never feel the way I felt as a child growing up.
What was your postpartum experience?
Honestly postpartum was and continues to be very difficult for me.
With my first child we lived in Texas (from Georgia) didn’t know anyone it was just me and my husband. So between having no help or support from family and friends, struggling with PPD breastfeeding issues and having to move into a hotel when my son was 2 months old it was hard.
Elliot stopped nursing at 2 months old and I was not producing enough by just pumping so we tried formula and it made him very sick. He wouldn’t hold it down at all so a really good friend of mine told me about donor milk and Human Milk for Human Babies. We started receiving donations and it worked! Our families all thought we were poisoning our son by using someone else’s milk but it was amazing and he thrived! It was a lot of driving and it was scary knowing it was always a possibility we wouldn’t be able to find someone to donate to him.
Before I had my son I imagined my postpartum period would be this wonderful time where I would snuggle my baby and all would be well and easy but things were just so hard. And after my daughter was born I was so emotionally damaged I feel like I was a horrible mother for the first few months of her life.
I was forced into having an unnecessary cesarean with her and I was so broken from being pushed into something that wasn’t needed. I couldn’t drive past the hospital without breaking down. Just recently 10 months PP have I been able to start talking about my experience without bawling.
Everyone says oh be happy your kid is here and healthy and just dismisses my feelings. It’s hard.
But honestly I feel like all of my struggles postpartum have helped me be more compassionate and understanding of other people. My kids especially.
What is one piece of knowledge you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
Trust yourself. Talk about your experiences. Everything you feel is valid.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I came here today to share my story. I’m from the south and we don’t talk about our experiences whether they be good or traumatic. It’s just something we don’t do. I didn’t know until after my second miscarriage that some women very close to me experienced the same things.
So I’m here to share my story and take back my power. I hope that these photos and sharing my story will help me and anyone else going through similar things because seeing everyone else’s story and photos have helped me realize we all go through difficult things and that I’m not alone.