Katie Warner

Katie Warner (32), Liam (4), and Skyla (7.5 months old)

West Salem, WI

Katie shares -

“I have not experienced any losses, but bearing witness to my friends enduring devastating miscarriages, stillborn births, & infant losses has impacted me deeply. I endured two years of fertility treatments to conceive Liam, so in a different way, I understand just how much a woman's longing for children is rooted in her soul. It is infinitely magnified once you learn life is developing inside your womb.

Motherhood has heightened my motivation to cultivate & model a healthy body image. This does not always come easily as it is very much a daily practice! The better part of my 20's was riddled with a very tumultuous relationship with food & body image, and it was the hope to be able to have children which served as my reason to do the intentional work to really heal that from the inside out.

It is with redemption & thanks giving that I am soon setting forth to expand this practice by becoming a coach to help other women overcome their struggle with food & body image. I’m more at peace with my body that I have been in over a decade – even having had a baby only almost eight months ago. Childbirth has been the most empowering experiences of my life; both times it changed my view of just how freakin’ powerful my body is.

I work hard to stay connected to my body and marvel at the intricacies of its works. I eat healthy most of the time, exercise regularly, meditate, and pray like it’s going out of style. Do I fall short sometimes & get in my head? Heck yes. But then I take a big breath, dig deeper, & start again.

My first postpartum journey went from 100 to 0 really fast. I had about 3-4 months of riding high in my bubble of baby bliss, but then I went back to work only to quit my job a few weeks later. I felt like a complete depleted-sleep-deprived-waste-of-an-education-sucking-at-motherhood & life failure.

Within weeks I was bedridden & in the depths of the worst depression I’d experienced. I sought help, grasping at any hope to pull through because my husband & baby needed me. Talk about adding more guilt to an already difficult situation.

I sought help, began to feel better, & finally became a functional human again. I became involved in the BIRTHFIT community & a local MOPS group, each outlet bringing support in motherhood in a way that allowed me to be honest and encouraged.

I have had two postpartum seasons now, & each one has been marked with the heartbreaking decline & death of my father-in-law & then my own father, each to cancer. No number of squats or meditations on childbirth can prepare a person for losing your dad. Even as I write this, my throat has become tight because it’s so damn painful to reflect on. It's been four months since my dad died. I’ve wondered why our children have to grow up without a grandpa & have been so angry over the nature of their suffering in their final time on earth.

So, I turn to God & am always, always, always met with peace in knowing that each of them were here with us for the right amount of time. While I didn’t chose those loses for us, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to find a healthy way to process the grief & honor them with integrity.

It is largely because of losing our dads that I have a fire inside me; one that burns to do great things, especially being the best version of wife & mother for my family. Heavy shackles of shame, self-doubt, & despair have been set free while being held all along by our Creator. Along with the hardships, becoming a mother has shown me deep, unrelenting purpose and renewal.

I want to remember this moment - three days prior to my 33 rd birthday & 7.5 months postpartum - as one that my body or spirit will not be crushed by walking the hills and valleys of this life. While it is messy, I will openly & honestly own my story so others may see light in their darkness, especially my kids.”

Lindsay Bonnar

Lindsay Bonnar (36), Charlie (4) and Linken (16mo)

Wyoming | West Salem, WI

Lindsay shares -

“Pregnancy was a bit hard for me from a body image standpoint, but I think it is mostly because I am a fitness trainer. I don't just gain a belly, I gain ALL over. It wasn't until my third trimester with both babies that I felt like I look pregnant versus just fat.

Postpartum with Charlie I was in such bliss that I barely noticed that I wasn't losing weight quickly. I had better things to do but I am not a mama who loses weight breastfeeding. I gain. I was back up to almost birth weight with both of my kids in the few early months after they were born. My second postpartum was a different story all together. It was summer this time and NONE of my clothes fit and I struggled in many ways. I am still working and learning to embrace the changes that have been made.

There are many things I have leaned on over the past year and these two things standout as something helped me a lot mentally. One is what Birthfit teaches about how motherhood leaves behind the Princess and you become a Queen.

The other was a podcast I got hooked on when pregnant with Linken called The Birthful Podcast. The host on there says all the time that "The topography changes" and I love this. Birth is so amazing and I marvel at the wonders of the female body and the fact that we were created for this! It seems silly now to try to think about chasing the body that was before this crazy and life-altering experience. But I had to do A LOT of head-word to arrive in this place. And it is ongoing.

I have learned and worked very hard in my life to release all expectations, which frees you from disappointment and allows me to experience things as they are. I really didn't have any set expectations for either of my babies journey. But it is something I marvel at, how different both pregnancies were and how different both postpartum experiences were. I felt like my journey into motherhood with my oldest was almost easy. Something I felt like I could do well.

When my second baby called me, what I was nervous about how was in the world I was ever going split the love I felt for my daughter. After a bit of a crazy and intense birth, I can remember vividly looking at my little man laying on the bed next to me and literally feeling my heart grow. Like he grew his own personal space there. I am so beyond grateful for this experience!

I was never diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, but looking back I almost certainly had it. I woke each morning consumed with overwhelm about how to handle both kids, even if it were only for a couple of hours at the end of the day. I cried almost daily, I barely remember the first 6 months of my little mans life. I hardly have any photos of him, let alone of us together. And they weight didn't even start to come off until he was around 6 months old. I ended up with a not just core and pelvic floor dysfunction, but also a prolapsed uterus and bladder. Which as someone who loves to lift weights and exercise, meant I could not use the same outlet I would normally turn to when I felt anxious or depressed. Which further depressed me. I can remember sitting outside in the dirt and just surrendering to God, the amazing power He has and the power from the great earth He created. Begging to help me heal. And while the physical healing has been slow, my heart and my head changed entirely that day. I have slid backwards a few times, but ultimately I realized how much pride and self worth I had wrapped up in my physical strength and abilities. I have since learned that as a woman there is SO MUCH MORE. We are powerful, beautiful and wonderfully made.

I work in health and fitness and have learned that while people come to me to work on their bodies, what most of them really need (and the successful ones end up learning) is that it is more about your HEAD. There is this billboard for plastic surgery that I drive by at least once a week depicting everything wrong with our society and advertising a way to change your "body." This project is the complete and wonderfully REAL antithesis to this. I wanted to be part of this because I try to be a voice of honesty and reality in my field, as a mom and for anyone who will listen to me.”

Erica Boland

Erica Boland (31), Terryn (11), Canon (8), Laken (6), and Maclin (2)

West Salem, WI

Erica shares -

“I experienced a miscarriage shortly before I become pregnant with our third son, Laken. It rocked our world. It wasn't something that had ever even crossed my mind for us and the next weeks, even months were a whirlwind. I wanted to hide and I wanted to blame but mostly I just wanted to know why.

There are valleys and peaks; days when I look in the mirror with awe and pure love and days when I feel my body no longer belongs to me. This pull between what I know and what society tells us all to think. It is a continuous journey of going within to listen to what my soul needs in order to step into and embody who I am; fully.

My birth and postpartum journey with my first son has brought me to where I am and is the fire lit within me to help empower others. At 19 years old I did exactly what "they" told me to do. I was unconsciously incompetent. After cutting an episiotomy and assuring me she would "add a few more stitches for my boyfriend" with just a few minutes of skin to skin my son was whisked away to the NICU for "precautionary purposes."

In reflection, it felt like I had no choice in any of our care. No one told me what to expect for myself, for my relationship, for our new family. No one told me how to heal my body and nourish my soul or suggested that I become intimately comfortable with myself before doing so with another. The 6 week "all clear" standard was and still is bull shit. We deserve more. We deserve to be educated and empowered to the amazing power of our bodies from a young age and break down barriers of shame. Now, as a mother of four I am beginning to see the isolation that can occur in the double standard of being a career driven, passionate mother. There is much work to be done to break down these barriers.

In 2013 I was introduced to BIRTHFIT. What started as a small group of us on a mission to provide women with better information and support has become a way of life. A global movement to change the way we care for women and families. A movement of empowerment. It is in all that I do personally and professionally and near and far, I am humbled by the humans I have the opportunity to learn from, support, and share experiences with as intimate as birth and death. BIRTHFIT has held space for me and hundreds of women and men to change at the soul level. 

I am unapologetically a passion driven woman here to cultivate deep connections and experience as much as I can. I would love to tell any new parent or my former self that within you, is the knowing you are searching for. Sometimes the darkness is where the most beautiful transformation takes place. Trust yourself.

I love the connection that occurs near and far when a group of humans on a similar mission come together to create change. Change is created in the way we connect with the world.”