Kate Hudak (31), Stephen Michael III "Phen" (3 years, 10 months), and Kaedryn May (1 year)
Kate is previous project participant. You can view her previous photo and story here.
Rhode Island | Washington, DC
Kate shares -
"I had a miscarriage in Feb 2015 when my son was 19 months old. I discovered I was pregnant after a positive pregnancy test but hadn't had a postpartum cycle. I found a lovely midwife and we were not able to hear a heartbeat via Doppler at what we thought was gestational age. I then went for a viability ultrasound and no heartbeat was confirmed. I was able to naturally birth the pregnancy (it amazed me how much it felt like birth, the dropping feeling, the contractions- very recognizable). Through this process I learned many friends had also experienced loss but no one speaks of it. Loss is not a happy topic but one that should be shared so that those experiencing know they are not alone, and their bodies are not failing them.
Overall I feel parenthood has impacted my body image for the better- I am a badass for carrying and birthing 2 babies over 10 pounds each. Pregnancy and birth (no matter how you birth) are amazing miracles. However, I feel there is so much pressure from society still placed on our bodies. I am a big gainer (I make big babies) and with my first I had a midwife suggest I was gaining too much weight and unhealthy (which I wasn’t and was a normal weight when getting pregnant).
I then lost all 50 pounds I had gained and then another 30. I felt amazing and so great about my body- it was so strong. With my third pregnancy (birth of my daughter) I was fit and strong when I got pregnant and although I gained 50+ pounds with her as well I didn’t get the comments about weight gain with her (partly because I had an unassisted birth/pregnancy). I felt during my pregnancy with Kaedryn that it was a little tougher mentally; I liked being thin and how thin felt- gaining and losing with her pregnancy was a bit more mentally challenging. I feel proud of my body for all it has done and how it serves me and my family.
{I'm participating again}, to be a part of normalization. If we do not share our truths, our stories, our good, and our bads we cannot normalize pregnancy, birth, and our bodies. Not all stories are fairy tales, not all fairy tales are perfect. Each journey is unique and special. My hope is that my journey or parts of my journey can help other people feel connected while on their journey. One of the biggest supports I have felt is knowing that others have been on this path before me; hopefully I can help someone feel support on theirs.
Empower yourself through education but ultimately trust your innate and inner wisdom, you know your truth and way. I would encourage a new parent to take in all the information, all the advice and then make the decision based on that information on what is right for them and their families in the moment; but to not get caught up in doing what the “books” say to do or what their parents did, or what the “mommy group” says you should be doing. Be true to yourself and your inner divine knowledge."