Aryana Mazzola

Aryana Mazzola (25), Preston (3), and Mina (14 months)

San Jose, California | Reno, NV

Aryana shares -

“Parenthood has impacted my view on my body in a few ways. Before my son I was focused on losing as much weight as possible and getting tone and fit, and I accomplished it. With my son I gained 80 pounds, and with extra 80 pounds on me I gained stretch marks on my thighs and stomach. With that weight on my body it made me self conscious, but I also owned it. I owned it because my body made a perfect healthy little boy. With my daughter, I gained 40 pounds as well as more stretch marks. To this day I am still self conscious of my stretch marks but I look at them as a souvenir from my pregnancies.

Birth was amazing in both pregnancies, with my son I had a birthing center birth and had a wonderful birth team, with my daughter I trusted myself and my pregnancy and had an unassisted birth with just my boyfriend and I. Both turned out to be beautiful experiences, my unassisted birth was by far my favorite.

With my son I had PPD. It was hard adjusting. Our son was not planned and being a young mom it took a toll on my feelings. I wasn't ready to be a mom, I wasn't ready for most of my young friends to desert me, I wasn't ready to feel alone like I did being a stay at home mom. I felt I expected a lot from my boyfriend at the time, but it was needed and he was great support. I never expected it to be that way when I had kids, I expected it to be a happy transition turning into a mom but it was far from happy. With my daughter it was hard adjusting as well but that was only hard because going from one to two was definitely a change, but PPD luckily didn’t affect me again.

What brought me to attend the 4th Trimester Bodies Project was to help women appreciate their bodies and know that birth and postpartum bodies are normal. We're not flawless after our pregnancies; we gain weight, we gain stretch marks, our bodies change, our boobs become pancakes or 1 size bigger than the other, whatever happens its all normal. We all need to embrace our bodies and appreciate what they have made and gifted us.”

Kate Hudak

Kate Hudak (31), Stephen Michael III "Phen" (3 years, 10 months), and Kaedryn May (1 year)

Kate is previous project participant. You can view her previous photo and story here. 

Rhode Island | Washington, DC

Kate shares - 

"I had a miscarriage in Feb 2015 when my son was 19 months old. I discovered I was pregnant after a positive pregnancy test but hadn't had a postpartum cycle. I found a lovely midwife and we were not able to hear a heartbeat via Doppler at what we thought was gestational age. I then went for a viability ultrasound and no heartbeat was confirmed. I was able to naturally birth the pregnancy (it amazed me how much it felt like birth, the dropping feeling, the contractions- very recognizable). Through this process I learned many friends had also experienced loss but no one speaks of it. Loss is not a happy topic but one that should be shared so that those experiencing know they are not alone, and their bodies are not failing them.

Overall I feel parenthood has impacted my body image for the better- I am a badass for carrying and birthing 2 babies over 10 pounds each. Pregnancy and birth (no matter how you birth) are amazing miracles. However, I feel there is so much pressure from society still placed on our bodies. I am a big gainer (I make big babies) and with my first I had a midwife suggest I was gaining too much weight and unhealthy (which I wasn’t and was a normal weight when getting pregnant).

I then lost all 50 pounds I had gained and then another 30. I felt amazing and so great about my body- it was so strong. With my third pregnancy (birth of my daughter) I was fit and strong when I got pregnant and although I gained 50+ pounds with her as well I didn’t get the comments about weight gain with her (partly because I had an unassisted birth/pregnancy). I felt during my pregnancy with Kaedryn that it was a little tougher mentally; I liked being thin and how thin felt- gaining and losing with her pregnancy was a bit more mentally challenging. I feel proud of my body for all it has done and how it serves me and my family.

{I'm participating again}, to be a part of normalization. If we do not share our truths, our stories, our good, and our bads we cannot normalize pregnancy, birth, and our bodies. Not all stories are fairy tales, not all fairy tales are perfect. Each journey is unique and special. My hope is that my journey or parts of my journey can help other people feel connected while on their journey. One of the biggest supports I have felt is knowing that others have been on this path before me; hopefully I can help someone feel support on theirs.

Empower yourself through education but ultimately trust your innate and inner wisdom, you know your truth and way. I would encourage a new parent to take in all the information, all the advice and then make the decision based on that information on what is right for them and their families in the moment; but to not get caught up in doing what the “books” say to do or what their parents did, or what the “mommy group” says you should be doing. Be true to yourself and your inner divine knowledge."

Brandie Smith

The beautiful Brandie Smith, Eden (2) and Jazmine (9 months). 

When Brandie met the man who is now her husband, his son was two years old. They dated for a full year before the time was right for her to meet him and she has enjoyed her role as his bonus parent but very much wanted children of her own some day. She married in 2011 and she conceived very quickly, either on their wedding night or honeymoon! They were over the moon and subsequently devastated to learn at her 12 week appointment that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. She had blood work done that showed she has a gene mutation that blocks her from metabolizing folic acid properly and preventing her from passing it along to her baby. They waited six months for the green light to try again and she began taking prescription vitamins. 

Brandie was able to get pregnant again right away and went on to have a healthy pregnancy with Eden, though she worried often that she might lose this baby too. Brandie went into labor on her own and went to the hospital but they sent her home thinking she was just in early labor. At home she dilated from 0-7cms in two hours but when she went back to the hospital and received an epidural, her labor stalled and she needed several rounds of pitcoin to progress further. Eden was born vaginally without complication and Brandie says that her life was forever changed. 

Brandie is a school teacher and knowing they wanted to have their children close in age they waited for the window that would give her an end of school year baby and tried again. They conceived again very quickly and she had another healthy pregnancy. Throughout her pregnancy they referred to her belly as "baby Jet"-  a mash-up of the boy and girl names they had picked out, and she says her baby flew in like a jet plane. Brandie's labor and delivery were just over two hours from start to finish and they didn't quite make it to the hospital in time for Jazmine to arrive. 

Nursing has been an important part of Brandie's relationship with her girls. It was difficult at first with Eden but they found their groove and she continued nursing until her supply diminished 25 weeks into her pregnancy and Eden chose to stop. Jazmine is still nursing like a champ and Brandie hopes to continue until she's done. 

Stretchmarks streaked Brandie's belly following her pregnancy with Eden and she was tearful over the changes to her body. It wasn't until her husband pointed out their purpose, that she was beautiful, that he loved her - that she began to embrace her new body. That belly that she was loathing, grew her beautiful children and they adore every bit of her. She hopes to lead her girls into loving themselves by example and the only place that can start is within herself.