Jana Robertson

Jana Robertson (34), Logan and Gavin (2)

Photographed in Seattle, Washington

Jana shares - 

"I am slowly learning to embrace myself where I am today. After ignoring my body for a couple years, I recently prioritized taking care of myself. Just a few months into making healthier choices, I’m feeling stronger and more energized. Double bonus - my boys are always watching and I love that they like to work out like mama.

Nothing about becoming a parent happened as I’d envisioned. We struggled with infertility and were given slim chances of having biological children. I was overjoyed, but terrified when we found out that IVF worked and we were pregnant with twins. The first part of my pregnancy went smoothly, but at 24 weeks I went into pre-term labor and was admitted to the hospital. I spent almost nine weeks on hospital bed rest, praying for uneventful days. Logan’s umbilical cord had a velamentous cord insertion. The doctors monitored his blood flow closely, and it was determined that I would have a cesarean to prevent his umbilical cord from getting kinked during delivery.

At 32 weeks and a couple days, my water broke and there was no stopping labor this time. My boys were born via cesarean that evening, and then whisked away to the NICU. They were in the NICU for six weeks. Our NICU journey was a rollercoaster of ups and downs as the boys learned to breathe and eat on their own. It gutted me to watch them struggle while there was so little I could do to help. Gavin developed a stomach infection – he received antibiotics and was fed solely through a PICC line while he was on bowel rest for 10 days. I will never forget the sound of his little whimpers, but I oddly found some comfort in the knowledge that he moans when sick, just like his daddy. Logan and Gavin are now rambunctious two-year olds who love doggies, puddle jumping and giving slobbery kisses.

I am so grateful. However, I am also still processing the loss of a ‘normal’ pregnancy and the trauma of having our boys in the NICU. We have a village of family and friends who walked beside us, but it was still isolating. Talking with other parents who had kiddos in the NICU helped me to validate and work through our experience. I now volunteer in the NICU leading parent groups to help other new parents feel less alone on their journey.

Give yourself grace – more than you think you need. Parenting plans usually end up being guidelines at best, so try to enjoy the ride and pause as often as possible to find and cherish the beauty.

I stumbled across this movement shortly after my boys were born and found so much strength and comfort in the raw, beautiful stories and gorgeous families. Everyone’s journey into parenthood is different, and I think its so important to share our truths so that we can fully embrace each other and ourselves."

Megan Vaughn

The marvelous Megan Vaughn, Lawson (6.5), Jovie (5), and Lily (3.5)

Megan developed two high risk complications with her first pregnancy, a partial placental abruption and velamentous cord insertion. She felt lucky to avoid an emergency but the complications meant she had to schedule a cesarean birth after spending her last 10 weeks of pregnancy on bed rest. 

With all of her children very close in age, and her high risk history, Megan was not considered a VBAC candidate and delivered Jovie and Lily via cesarean, as well, after typical pregnancies. While Megan had not been very educated or opinionated on birth with her first she learned a lot along the way and even though she felt confident that a VBAC attempt wasn't a good choice for her, she became interested in Lotus birth and talked with her OB.  Megan's doctor was supportive and together they made hospital history by performing a modified Lotus Birth via cesarean. Lily was born with her placenta still attached and was able to nurse right on the operating table. Megan says she may still long to give birth vaginally but this experience was incredibly healing.

Megan believes that our culture puts too much pressure on women to look a certain way and the pressure is even harder postpartum. So many moms, even on first encounter, will speak of their need to lose the baby weight, or to be back in their old clothes. We are shown images of celebrities who bounce back like its nothing and these images are what our kids see. When adults idolize these celebrities our children are taught that to idolize those notions too. Megan says that she grew up with body image issues and dysmorphia her whole life, Her mom always spoke of herself negatively and she's determined to be the change for her kids. "Yes, I still struggle every single day, but I won't vocalize it. I try to set a good example with food & exercise. And by putting myself out there like this I'm hoping to be another unique, postpartum example that illustrates all bodies are beautiful."

Kirsten Finger

The fabulous Kirsten Finger with her children Liam (4), Zoe (2) and Joshua (16 months). Kirsten's pregnancies and births have been quite different. Her first was planned, and she was thrilled. Very quickly on she developed pelvic pain. She found it quite difficult to manage and was worried that it would only get worse in future pregnancies. It got so bad that she couldn't roll over in bed without assistance. She thought the pain would go away right after birth, but it persisted for a bit. Kirsten was rather scared by childbirth. She became frustrated at the end of her pregnancy as she went overdue and felt very disconnected from her body as she often starts to dilate without being aware of what's happening in her body. She had a hind water link and went into the hospital for induction. She got permission to get her water broke and give her body a chance to go into labor. She was given permission but felt very much that she didn't have control over much of her labor. She had labored for 4 hours before the night shift midwife came on and she told Kirsten she wasn't doing well and needed to push an induction. Kirsten lost all control she'd had and decided that if she wanted to have that she also wanted an epidural which she'd hoped to avoid. The anesthesiologist asked if she was in transition and she thought she may have been as well but the midwife insisted she was only dilating to 5 cms. Once the epidural was in she was fully dilated and told to push. During pushing, she felt disconnected and felt nothing. She was very sad with how things went. They decided to have another baby very soon after but wanted things to be different this time. She had midwife-led care and planned a waterbirth this time. She was able to have a beautiful waterbirth following an induction postdates. Her mum caught the baby; her husband was there, and she was able to have exactly the birth she'd desired. It wasn't until after her daughter was born that they learned she had a velamentous cord insertion and the membranes had toughened up making them difficult to rupture and putting her daughter at risk. When Zoe was about 6 months old, Kirsten had a bit of a breakdown and began to acknowledge she'd been dealing with a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. It wasn't until after she had her son Joshua that she realized she very much wasn't doing well, and she pulled herself together and got treatment, ultimately choosing to take medication to help her. She calls Josh her healing baby and even though she faced another induction she was able to do it without an epidural, just gas this time, which made her very proud. She's changed her parenting methods a lot as well, keeping her son closer, wearing him and co-sleeping. She's found that catering to his needs naturally has made her more relaxed and a better parent to all of her children. Kirsten feels that she has her reserve back and can cope better when things go well. She's very proud of herself and has succeeded in taking the first step down off of her medication. She's worked through a lot of other things during this time as well related to her triggers and growth in her faith and feels that she's made a lot of positive change.