Vicki Salamon (38 - she/her), Judah (4.5), Gideon (2.5), currently pregnant 7 weeks. You can view Vicki’s photo and bio from 2015 here.
Washington, DC
“I made a decision early in my reproductive years to terminate a pregnancy which then allowed me to further myself in other ways. While this serious decision was made with best of intentions and tough consideration, it still hangs over me today as I struggle with multiple pregnancy losses, not of my own choosing. When my partner and I first decided to start a family we were met with two consecutive first-trimester missed miscarriages. Finally our rainbow baby Judah was born on Thanksgiving day, 2014.
We were both pleasantly surprised when Gideon was conceived with less struggle and born in 2017. Deciding our family needed one more member, we wanted to try once more. After conceiving and waiting again the allocated time for verification of pregnancy, we were shocked to learn of yet another missed miscarriage loss, resulting in light hemorrhaging and repeat D&Cs. At the time of this photography session, I was not so patiently waiting to find out if this pregnancy was viable or not. In total I've had 7 pregnancies, 4 losses, with 5 D&Cs.
How has parenthood impacted your body image
As a parent I feel my body is the chance to model acceptance to my children. I try to be happy with whatever shape, size, and a number. The most important body I can have as a parent is one that I take care of -- mind, body, and spirit, to be the best parent for my family unit, trying to find time for self care and health.
What was your postpartum experience?
I feel my postpartum journey always changed and shifted. Initially with my first child, I had a huge shift in understanding of my limitations and boundaries. With my second child I was able to be kinder to myself. However it's with my losses I struggle the most in those tiny-postpartum times. The emotional grief of pregnancy loss complicates the physical healing.
What is your truth?
Be gentle with yourself and others, we are all doing the best we can.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I love capturing different versions of myself, in differing hats and at various stages in my life. Having participated previously, it was important for me to come back now that I have another earth-side baby, and to celebrate all that my body has done for me -- even despite multiple pregnancy losses. I also want other women who have experienced repeat losses to know that even though that moment is painstakingly hard, awful, and it is so easy to compare yourself to others, that you need to focus on yourself and your healing process. It will get better, maybe different, and hopefully lighter.