Anna Wood McCarthy Schwartz

Anna Wood McCarthy Schwartz (31) and Eloise (4)

Buffalo, NY

Anna shares -

“Honestly, I have adopted a much healthier body image since my daughter was born. We all have our days, and I still have mine, but I’m much more aware of whether I am being kind to myself and my body.

I LOVED being pregnant! The birth was difficult. I had her two weeks early because they discovered my kidneys were failing and that I had the family kidney disease. I was being induced for two days and ultimately had a cesarean. Then to top it all off, the epidural nicked my spinal cord and I had a spinal headache for the first couple of days after having Eloise, which was very frustrating and depressing. After that was resolved and we we’re home, I definitely fell into a period of depression. Looking back I can clearly identify this but at the time I was so detached and under the surface very angry, that I really didn’t have a clue. Plus everything was about this beautiful new baby that I was always distracted and not checking in with myself. I was in a fog.

Right now in my life, I am the healthiest I have ever been- mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically except that I am in end stage kidney failure. In about 3 weeks, I will undergo surgery to place a catheter in my abdomen to prepare for dialysis. Since I had my daughter and was diagnosed with kidney disease, I have gone through an incredible journey of transformation. I came out as gay to my husband and best friend of 12 years, my family, and my friends, I grieved the death of my father, I cofounded a business, I began eating healthier, thinking more positively, living more mindfully and fell in love with my other half, Shannon.

This next phase of starting dialysis is the last step before I receive a kidney transplant and it’s the step I have the most personal fear of because I saw my dad go through dialysis when I was my daughter’s age. My body will be forever altered, just like it was when I was pregnant. This photo shoot is evidence of a time in my life where I am doing everything I can to stay alive and present for my daughter who gives me life everyday. She is my light and my greatest love and I will be forever grateful for her.”

Update! Since Anna’s session she has started dialysis and wrote - “I’ve been on dialysis for about a month now and have felt like a human being again. You forget what it’s like to live without functioning kidneys. The pictures you took remind me of a time when I was scared for the future, scared for change, but able to forget all of it when I’m around the magical being that is my daughter. “

JoAnn Hepler

The phenomenal JoAnn Hepler with her daughters Ellie Jo (2) and Everly Ann (4 months).

JoAnn and her husband had been married for about a year before they decided to try to expand their family and she was able to conceive just two months after going off birth control. Her first pregnancy was very healthy with no problems. At 40 weeks she went in to the hospital because she thought her water broke but was told it hadn't. She was sent home but as she was leaving contractions started to become more intense. She went back to the hospital when contractions were 3-5 minutes apart as she was instructed but she was only 1cm dilated so they sent her home again. She labored for another day of contractions 3-5 minutes apart, with no sleep and was sent home again. And finally, JoAnn went back after 48 full hours of labor and refused to leave. At the 72 hours mark she received an epidural. A resident tried to place it first but was not successful so she had to have it done again and it only took on half of her body. She got to sleep for 20 minutes and she was finally complete. She pushed and her daughter started to crown but a doctor was trying to make her race with another woman in labor and told her she could move her bones because she preferred vaginal deliveries. She continued to push and her mother finally found an attending physician as she'd only seen residents to this point. She explained that she had the same problem and had a cesarean.

JoAnn says she was put in horrible, degrading positions to try to have her baby and had been up for three days with no sleep before they took her for an emergency cesarean. She was terrified. The anesthesiologist told her to let him know if the medicine numbed up to her chest because that was bad, almost immediately she couldn't feel her body up to her face and her mouth started going numb. He gave her a shot to counteract it but she could still feel her abdomen because they had used her epidural site. Ellie had become stuck in JoAnn's pelvis and the doctor was swearing, saying he had to cut her again. He cut horizontally and vertically and they had to push Ellie back up through her vagina as they tried to pull her out. JoAnn kept passing out from the pain and it was an all around horrible experience. Ellie had swallowed a lot of her blood and had to be taken away to NICU. The attending left and the residents stitched her up, but when the overseeing doctor came back they had to completely reopen her and because they'd put her back together incorrectly. JoAnn had worried about her daughter throughout her pregnancy but it had never occurred to her that it could be her to lose her life in the process. She had to receive two units of blood and left the hospital after 5 days but was still throwing up and passing out. She came home but soon developed a spinal headache and had to come back for a blood patch which was a horrifying experience in itself.  They didn't have a tourniquet so they used a glove and pumped the blood out of her hand.  She also noticed her incision was very red so she made an appointment and went in. The doctor who had attended her birth refused to see her and just sent her back to the ER for treatment. 10 days after her surgery she returned to have to staples out and the doctor just started reopening her vertical incision. He stopped to say, "I sure hope you have your Percocets with you".  When she said she did, he said, "Good, take one, I'll be back in 30 minutes." She had not healed and had pockets of fluid inside so she had to pack her wound for two weeks. It still wasn't closing, so she fought to get a wound vac and with it, her incision finally healed 8 weeks later. Through all of this, she had to be away from her newborn quite a bit but she said Ellie was her light. She struggled the first few weeks to establish breastfeeding and was ultimately able to continue to nurse Ellie until she was 16 months old.

JoAnn had PTSD from her first birth experience and when she learned she was pregnant again unexpectedly, she was very scared and nervous. She decided to take her pregnancy day by day and try to not worry about things. She found a new doctor who suggested they deliver a little bit early since things were going well. She enjoyed her time with Ellie and wrote notes and letters to her in case anything happened to her during childbirth. JoAnn delivered Everly via scheduled cesarean at 37 weeks and it was a very healing experience. It only took 20 minutes and she was able to see her daughter right away. Her vertical incision on her uterus had begun to tear so it's great they delivered when they did. Everly is a champion breastfeeder and things are going well, she brought into her life things she didn't know she needed and she is so incredibly grateful to have her.

JoAnn has struggled with her body image, particularly after having yet another scar from Everly's birth but realized she needed to start focusing on the things that made her feel beautiful. Her stomach never made her feel beautiful but her children do, and they are the reason she has her scars. She wants to remind herself and other women to always hold onto hope.

Sara Lanthorn

The lovely Sara Lanthorn with her daughter Addie-Lynne (2) and son Ri (6 months) she is also 10 weeks pregnant with baby number three, due in September. Sara has had all day nausea through the whole of her pregnancies but learned during her pregnancy with Addie that Zofran works for her so she was able to take it and have manageable nausea with Ri and her current pregnancy from the onset. Sara says that she makes big babies, so they had planned to induce her with Addie but she went into labor naturally the morning before her scheduled induction. It was Superbowl Sunday and she was one of 7 women laboring but the only non emergency so she labored with minimal intervention for most of the time. She had planned to decide on whether or not she would get an epidural until she was in the thick of things and labored for quite some time without one until her water broke and she swiftly changed her mind. She was able to push Addie out without complication but tore pretty severely. She pushed for 45 minutes and says it took even longer than that for them to stitch her up. She was able to initiate breastfeeding right away without complication and her daughter was a very efficient breastfeeder. Sara had a spinal headache 5 days postpartum and had to go to the ER for a blood patch. She had some intermittent issues with her supply and after struggling with her cycles was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

They knew that they wanted to have four children close together and with the fertility issues PCOS can involve decided to start Clomid. She was able to conceive Ri on her first cycle. She started Zofran early this time and was able to manage her nausea. Ri was a planned induction as well due to his anticipated size though he was just under 9lbs at birth. Sara was checked and told she was complete and ready to push only to find that she was pushing her son into her cervix. When she was finally ready his shoulders became stuck and the doctor had to manually pull out one arm to help minimize tearing. She had to hold off pushing after she birthed his head before the doctor arrived and again while they got his shoulder unstuck and says she learned the value of a gutteral scream. While Ri was born in good health his face was bruised and swollen from being pressed into her cervix. Breastfeeding was more challenging this time and at around 4 months Sara learned, much to her surprise that she was pregnant again. She has had to wean but has enough milk pumped and saved to provide him with one bottle of breastmilk per day until he is about 8 months old. She has learned that her energy is limited and the new baby she's growing needs her focus now.

Sara's body has changed quite a bit through her motherhood journey but she has tried to focus on how strong she is. She has grown and birthed and fed her babies and while her belly may be bigger it's because it grew her babies and though her arms may be bigger it's because they are stronger from holding her babies. She is better now, more beautiful and she is strong.

Sara Lanthorn

The lovely Sara Lanthorn with her daughter Addie-Lynne (2) and son Ri (6 months) she is also 10 weeks pregnant with baby number three, due in September. Sara has had all day nausea through the whole of her pregnancies but learned during her pregnancy with Addie that Zofran works for her so she was able to take it and have manageable nausea with Ri and her current pregnancy from the onset. Sara says that she makes big babies, so they had planned to induce her with Addie but she went into labor naturally the morning before her scheduled induction. It was Superbowl Sunday and she was one of 7 women laboring but the only non emergency so she labored with minimal intervention for most of the time. She had planned to decide on whether or not she would get an epidural until she was in the thick of things and labored for quite some time without one until her water broke and she swiftly changed her mind. She was able to push Addie out without complication but tore pretty severely. She pushed for 45 minutes and says it took even longer than that for them to stitch her up. She was able to initiate breastfeeding right away without complication and her daughter was a very efficient breastfeeder. Sara had a spinal headache 5 days postpartum and had to go to the ER for a blood patch. She had some intermittent issues with her supply and after struggling with her cycles was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

They knew that they wanted to have four children close together and with the fertility issues PCOS can involve decided to start Clomid. She was able to conceive Ri on her first cycle. She started Zofran early this time and was able to manage her nausea. Ri was a planned induction as well due to his anticipated size though he was just under 9lbs at birth. Sara was checked and told she was complete and ready to push only to find that she was pushing her son into her cervix. When she was finally ready his shoulders became stuck and the doctor had to manually pull out one arm to help minimize tearing. She had to hold off pushing after she birthed his head before the doctor arrived and again while they got his shoulder unstuck and says she learned the value of a gutteral scream. While Ri was born in good health his face was bruised and swollen from being pressed into her cervix. Breastfeeding was more challenging this time and at around 4 months Sara learned, much to her surprise that she was pregnant again. She has had to wean but has enough milk pumped and saved to provide him with one bottle of breastmilk per day until he is about 8 months old. She has learned that her energy is limited and the new baby she's growing needs her focus now.

Sara's body has changed quite a bit through her motherhood journey but she has tried to focus on how strong she is. She has grown and birthed and fed her babies and while her belly may be bigger it's because it grew her babies and though her arms may be bigger it's because they are stronger from holding her babies. She is better now, more beautiful and she is strong.