Molly Krpata

The marvelous Molly Krpata, Sebastian Emerson (3) and Lyra Sophie Grace (1).

Molly struggled to get pregnant with Sebastian. She'd been off birth control for 3 years and spent another year charting and keeping track of her basal body temperature every morning to get pregnant. "It was emotionally draining but through that struggle I ended up becoming a part of a great online support group full of amazing women. There are about 15 of us and we are still in almost daily contact".

Sebastian's birth was very traumatic for Molly. She had an epidural and spent almost an entire day in bed. Molly developed a fever and Sebastian was in a posterior position. She pushed for 4 hours and they tried to turn him manually. Molly had been told she was doing great until they sprung the idea of a cesarean on her.  "I honestly felt very much out of the loop the whole time and felt like his birth happened to me, instead of something I was involved in at all. It was definitely disappointing and upsetting". Due to her fever both Molly and her baby had to have IV antibiotics and were separated as a result. They had trouble getting started breastfeeding and a nurse set them back in the hospital when she tried to override the lactation consultant's plan and rudely push her husband aside while he was trying to help. Molly kicked her out of the room. Sebastian had colic and being new parents was extremely difficult for Molly. In the months following Sebastian's birth they got the hang of breast feeding, but she was suffering from serious postpartum depression and anxiety, seeing a therapist helped. Molly's husband also struggled with depression in the early months. 

Things eventually got better and they finally decided to try for a second child. Molly got pregnant right away which was very shocking. This pregnancy was a little more difficult with lots of pain and discomfort. Molly had to see a chiropractor for sciatica pain and had lots of contractions and false labor scares. At one point around 35 weeks pregnant she ended up in the hospital overnight with what the staff thought might be early labor but turned out to be kidney stones. Molly felt lucky to be more informed this time around and found a great doctor who supported their desire to try for a VBAC. They also had a fabulous doula who was very supportive. "Lyra's birth was a very healing experience for me. Even though it was hard and long". Lyra was also posterior so Molly had 22 hours of back labor. She waiting until 8 cm dilated to get an epidural and was still able to move around a lot. Her waters were broken and an internal monitor needed to be placeddue to concerns with Lyra's heart rate. They decided to deliver with vacuum assistance and after three attempts, Lyra came out without a peep and nursed almost immediately. She was able to lay on Molly's chest for hours. "She calmed me and healed me instantly".

Molly finds the balance in motherhood to be difficult. "I can never seem to find balance between taking care of them and taking care of me. My body is very different now. I am the heaviest I have ever been (while not pregnant anyway). That is still hard for me, but I'm working on it. I find all the day to day stuff exhausting. But with all that comes this amazing pride of knowing I created these beautiful, smart, amazing human beings! I love watching them discover new things. I especially love watching the bond they are forming with each other that has nothing to do with me. Parenthood is a trip. That's for sure. I'm just going to hang on tight for the ride. I'm so proud of what my body has done, growing and giving birth to these two beautiful children, but I still don't always feel beautiful in my own skin. I want my children to grow up feeling confident and body positive, so here I am. Taking a wild step to show them we are all beautiful." 

The Meidlinger Family

The amazing Meidlinger family, Peter (35) with son Severin (2 years and 6 months) and wife Katie (35), Michaela Waisman (37) with son Dax (19 months), Jane  (65), Talia (32) with wife MJ (30) and daughter Ruthea (4 months).

Jane is the mother of three - Peter, Michaela, Talia and grandmother to three Severin, Dax and Ruthea. 

When Jane and her husband married he wasn't sure he wanted to have children but on their honeymoon he announced he had changed his mind. They waited four years to conceive and it took some time, about 9 months of trying, before it happened. Pregnancy went well, and once labor began they made the 30 minute drive to the hospital where she delivered Michaela sunny side up with forceps under the watch of a doctor she thinks was inebriated at the time. The birth was fairly traumatic and they had to stay in hospital for six days before they were allowed to go home. 

Jane had always wanted to be a mother, partly because her own mother was so wonderful, creative, active and supported by her father. She wasn't your typical women of the 50's and Jane felt empowered by staying home to raise her own children with her husbands support. When they decided to have a second child, Jane's husband was on internship and they were grateful to have insurance at the time. Michaela's birth had cost them $600 without insurance which seemed astronomical back then. While her pregnancy went well, Jane's doctor made her feel horrible at every appointment and at 7 months along she found an amazing woman who was willing to take over her care. She had a wonderful experience and loved being pregnant. Her husband was allowed to sit up on the bed behind her and they didn't break her water, just allowed her baby to be born. Jane also nursed babies in a time where there wasn't a lot of support. 

They decided to have a third and Talia arrived surrounded with so much love. Jane says that she always thought your children just came out perfect and you added love and there you are. But they have brought her humility and respect for the strong, individual people they are. "They teach you a lot if you let them". She feels fortunate to have had a partner and husband who added a lot of fun and humor to being a parent. Even when your kids are grown you don't stop being their mother, she says. "I'm lucky to have an adult relationship with my children that if I could, I would have picked them as friends." She loves that they love talking to her and coming home. It's hard to think about the day she has to leave the story line but she loves being their mom. 

"Watching your kids become parents is the best part. It makes me hope that I was able to give them something that was passed to me, and is now passed along generation to generations. They are all bright, funny, socially conscious. They are good people doing good things with their lives". 

"Having grandchildren is amazing. You can have fun with them and check out when you grow tired. Being a parent is hard but being a grandparent is fun. They all bring such richness to our lives. Rue is the buddha, Dax is the cautious one, Severin is the dancer. It's so much fun."

Katie, mother to Severin, is a previous project participant. You can view her previous image and story here. 

We had the privilege of working with Katie just a few months ago, she joined us again with some difficulty to share that she recently had a second miscarriage. Her first felt like she could grieve openly and this time she feels more exhausted. She's surprised by how different it is and she feels like she needs more space and quiet to process for herself.

Katie chose to come back in support of Jane and her family and also because of her belief in how important it is to normalize the human body. "We need to teach consent staring at birth and show all the depictions of what it is to be human. Our girls and our boys need to value their own bodies and other people's bodies too, all people need to learn this regardless of their gender". 

Michaela, mother to Dax, is also a previous project participant. You can view her previous image and story here.

We had the opportunity to work with Michaela, in Denver just a few months ago. In the time since Michaela has enjoyed watching Dax grow. She's continually trying to find balance between her career and her family. She joined us again to bring her family together and capture this moment with her mother. 

Talia and MJ, mother's to Ruthea. 

Talia acknowledges that becoming parents is really difficult when you only have one set of the parts to do so. It was a struggle to conceive but she and MJ have grown closer in the process and she says that motherhood is the best thing that she's done in life so far and she's so grateful to have her daughter. 

They started trying to have a baby in 2013 with a known donor and inseminated three times before conceiving. They learned via ultrasound that MJ was pregnant with triplets but the pregnancy was not viable. Coping with the loss was really hard and traveling to inseminate with their known donor became emotionally exhausting. They tried one more time after their loss and then took a break for about a year.  In the meantime, the laws in Iowa changed so that she and her wife could both have spousal presumption without having to adopt as long as they used an anonymous donor. They decided to find an anonymous donor and began to try IUI. After 8 difficult months and 5 attempts, they conceived Ruthea. 

Pregnancy was uncomplicated and birth went very well. They chose to deliver in hospital and things went fairly quickly. After laboring through the night at home they went into the hospital where they were told to come back in a few hours or when her water broke, so of course as soon as they got home, her water broke. From there, things went quickly. MJ chose to have an epidural which was amazing and Ruthea was born in just three contractions and 15 minutes of pushing. Breastfeeding is going well and MJ is grateful to have the support of a friend who is a lactation consultant 

It was important for Talia and MJ to share their stories and document this time in their lives that has been so positive. 

Rachel Carrales

The radiant Rachel Carrales with her son Toby (2). Rachel says that like most women in her demographic she was very well educated approaching pregnancy and birth. She studied hypnobabies, read Ina May and planned for a homebirth. Her pregnancy was complicated by weight gain, which on her small frame felt cumbersome and uncomfortable and she was so exhausted that exercising just didn't happen. In hindsight, Rachel says that perhaps the difficulties of pregnancy should have led her to realize that her labor and deliver may be more difficult than the orgasmic birth she had imagined.

Labor began at home quite intensely due to Toby's posterior and asynclitic position. She was having what felt like one strong and continuous contraction. After she realized this was actually going to take a long time, all of her preparations went out the window. She progressed to 6 cms before stalling there for about 8 hours. After 13 hours of total labor she decided to transfer to the hospital for pain interventions. Once there she begged for an epidural, anything to numb the pain, however once it was placed things were so intense she was still quite uncomfortable. Rachel had become quite traumatized by the pain and after laboring for 24 hours of labor and learning that her cervix had dilated asymmetrically, she requested a cesarean. Rachel says the birth was horrible. She was alone, the staff was playing music loudly while not talking to her and he was taken out and whisked away before she got to see him. Thankfully, Toby was healthy and Rachel worked to establish breastfeeding before she realized she was not okay. She had developed PTSD from the pain she experienced during labor and has had to do a lot of work to consider ever having another. At about 6 months in, just as Rachel thought she had nothing to worry about, she learned that Toby lost nearly 3lbs in just 2 weeks. Her milk supply had vanished. She quit her job in order to relactate and work to get her sons weight up. Her doctor was able to prescribe Domperidone which worked wonders but as she recently weaned off to try to conceive again and her supply has dropped drastically again.

Rachel struggled with anorexia and constant dieting as a teen and twenty something and has worked to accept her body as it is. She says that even though she is raising a son she still wants him to have a positive example of body image and an understanding of focusing on health rather size or scale.

Kirsten Wallace

 The wonderful Kirsten Wallace with her daughter Aviana (2). Kirsten is also 33 weeks pregnant with her second, due in November. When Kirsten was 18, she was told that she had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and would never have children of her own, or if she did she would have to utilize fertility treatments to get there. Despite the warnings, she conceived without issue unexpectedly. Aviana's pregnancy was great, Kirsten struggled with morning sickness but was otherwise okay. She was born vaginally with an epidural due to her posterior position and was able to breastfeed right away. Aviana is still breastfeeding, and Kirsten hopes to tandem feed once the new baby arrives. They decided to try again very quickly so that the kids could grow up close in age. Conception took a lot longer this time and Kirsten had to rely on Clomid and other fertility treatments. She hasn't been as sick this pregnancy but has had a few complications. The baby has a single vessel umbilical cord and is measuring quite small. Thankfully he's growing steadily, just in lower percentiles, so everything is looking great this time around. Kirsten had hoped to have a homebirth but is going to deliver in the hospital with a student midwife assisting. She is hoping for a natural waterbirth this time. When Kirsten was growing up, she had family members who forbid her from having seconds and told her to suck her stomach in at age 6 or 7, things they would never have said to her brother. She doesn't feel anyone should be subjected to that and wants to set a better example for both her children.

Liz Fennessy

The lovely Liz Fennessy and her daughter Isla Teal. Liz is currently 12 weeks pregnant with her second child. Her first pregnancy was awesome, save the first 12 weeks when she is miserably sick. She enjoyed being pregnant other than the illness. Her labor was 34 hours in which Isla was posterior. Liz delivered naturally and was able to take Isla home 12 hours later. She hadn't slept in two days and didn't sleep for about 2 more days after getting home and was a bit of an emotional wreck. She hopes to avoid that this time around. She hasn't been able to enjoy this pregnancy much yet because she's felt sick but is just starting to feel better and is hopeful she'll get to that point. Breastfeeding was tough for the first couple weeks, but Liz was very determined and worked through it. She gets mastitis frequently but Isla is a now breastfeeding pro, and she's hoping that she continues to nurse throughout her pregnancy. She doesn't know if Isla will wean and is open to tandem feeding if she wants to when the new baby comes. Liz hopes that when her daughter is a new mum herself, she can look back on this experience with pride.