Deaira Lynn Elwell

Deaira Lynn Elwell (38), Jeriah (8), and Wynnie (6)

Reno, NV

Deaira shares -

“Parenthood improved my body image, it helped me see my body as a beautiful creation that was strong and capable of great things. Growing life, giving birth and nourishing these little people with my body taught me my body had a purpose that it was not a fat, ugly, waste like society taught me.

My daughter arrived very quickly, in less than 2 hours and she was breech. My midwife did not arrive and I delivered her all by myself alone in my living room. It taught me how strong I could be when I had no other choice. Her birth was normal, it was extraordinary just like the perfect autistic being she is.

My daughter loves my soft squishy parts they give her comfort and peace, she loves to bury her face in them, how could something that brings her such comfort be bad, ugly or anything less than perfect. How could I hate and despise a body that brought me such amazing love?

Postpartum life was about falling in love with these tiny creatures. I relished everything about them. Their smell, the way they cuddled into me the greedy way they drank milk from my breasts. Watching them grow has taught me many things, they've been my greatest teachers. In becoming a parent I became a better more mindful more loving version of myself.

Our journey to this place has been a rocky one. Being a mother was always easy for me but coping with the rocky road life has put us on has been harder. I'm still here, I have remained a constant, safe, secure place for my children and despite the storms they are content and happy because of me. I am committed every day to love and honor who they are and foster their wild wonderful spirits while they discover their path. Its beautiful chaos and I'm so glad we have each other. Being here today capturing this place in our life, in the storm, is my way of asserting that we will keep going, i will keep loving them, protecting them and encouraging them into the wonderful humans they're meant to be.”

Sadie Stanclift

The stunning Sadie Stanclift, Pearson (4), and Callan (22 months). 

Sadie's motherhood journey didn’t exactly go as she had always planned. She says that she believe's in natural birth and has always had a strong frustration with the system in which woman are taught that they can’t, that they aren’t strong enough, that they need help and that labor is something to fear. She doesn't think any of that is true and believes that women were made to do this, and can. 

With their first child, she was dedicated to an unmedicated minimal intervention birth and did everything she could to prepare for that - midwife, doula, birth classes, etc. but in the end, she says, it wasn’t meant to be. Pearson had bound his umbilical cord in a way that would not allow him to move down and out and his birth ended in a general anesthesia cesarean section after reaching the pushing phase. While this was devastating for Sadie as she had advocated, planned and believed in natural birth, it was incredibly traumatic for her husband, because the surgery was performed under general anesthesia and he was not allowed in the room.

Sadie wasn’t awake and her husband wasn’t there when they became parents for the first time, they both struggled for a long time, and depending on the day they still do. Breastfeeding is also something she has always been passionate about, and she became even more dedicated and passionate as a result of her cesarean. "Feeling like I had failed to give my baby the birth that he deserved, there was no way I wasn’t going to nurse him." They called him a barracuda at the hospital, and she was in a lot of pain but wasn’t going to give up until he was ready to be done. Throughout her breastfeeding journey she had mastitis, milk blisters, and regularly occurring mystery pain. She saw multiple lactation consultants, multiple breastfeeding educators, an OB, and multiple midwives. No one could figure out what was happening and just kept coming back to it being something wrong with her anatomy or the flow of her ducts.  

When Pearson was 20 months old, a friend said something about lip tie, and upon further investigation he absolutely has one. Based on his age at that point they opted not to pursue revision, as he wasn’t relying on breastmilk as his primary source of nutrition anymore and it didn’t seem to be bothering him otherwise. Nursing was still very painful, but they had made it that far and still weren't going to give up.

When Pearson turned 2, they decided to get pregnant again though they were both fearful of another traumatic birth experience. Nursing had always been very painful, but nursing while pregnant took it to a whole new level but Sadie decided to allow him to continue as long as he wanted. She was faced with some major choices to make, VBAC or repeat cesarean, Midwife or OB, same hospital or new hospital. Ultimately, she was confident that VBAC was the right option for them, based on the circumstances of their first birth. After much thought and discussion she decided she wanted a clean slate and chose a new provider and location. They opted for an OB, who was a solo practitioner, reasoning that if she was going to need another cesarean she wanted to know who was performing the surgery and wanted the doctor to know her.

This pregnancy was uncomplicated and labor was long. They went to the doctor’s office in early labor for a regularly scheduled appointment and then went to the hospital in the middle of the night to check in on things. Having made very little progress, she decided it was best to go home and rest where there was less pressure. Finally, the next afternoon, Callan made his grand entrance minutes after her water broke at the bottom of her stairs as they attempted to leave to go to the hospital. "I got my VBAC, my body and my baby did what we were supposed to do and it was the most amazing moment of our lives. We went from traumatic with our first to dramatic with our second. That first birth was just a brief introduction into how much control you lose when you bring a child into your life. It’s a crazy, awesome, uncontrollable ride."

Over four years removed from her first birth experience, Sadie has begun to process things differently. "My baby and my body weren’t able to work together the way nature planned and I have a scar that has faded both physically and metaphorically, but it’s still very much part of my life. I have embraced that experience and I use it now as a chapter co-leader for ICAN of Kansas City to help other moms find ways to heal from their scars and their trauma."

Rachel Kelley

The radiant Rachel Kelley, Harriet (4.5) and Ursula (20 months). 

Rachel and her now husband had been planning on getting married and having children but their were still 3-5 years in the future when she conceived Harriet with an IUD in place. Rachel was happy she was in great shape at the time and even swam a mile in the ocean as part of a triathlon when she was 4 weeks pregnant. She was about 10 weeks along when they got the news and decided to just set thing in motion a bit earlier than planned. 

Other than the need to monitor her IUD via ultrasound throughout, Rachel had a very healthy pregnancy. She had been seeing an OB who she'd just happened upon for well woman care but learned that nearly 1/3 of her patients delivered via cesarean and chose to switch to a midwife based practice around 20 weeks. They chose to deliver at a birth center and Rachel remembers being thoroughly comforted by the water. Labor progressed well and when she felt ready to birth, Harriet came out very quickly after only 13 minutes of pushing. Harriet emerged with the cord around her neck but summersaulted out with Rachel's next push and untangled herself. When Rachel birthed her placenta they needed to check it closely to make sure that her IUD came out and she didn't need to have a D&C. Her midwife did have to do a manual sweep which is when she realized Rachel had vasa previa. They still don't know why it wasn't caught on any of her ultrasounds but Rachel feels incredibly lucky that both she and Harriet were able to get through pregnancy and birth without complications as it could have been life threatening. Breastfeeding went very well for them both and Harriet continued to nurse until about 6 months into her pregnancy with Ursula. 

Ursula was very much Rachel's planned baby and they conceived right away, she assumed things would go just as smoothly as with her first. Rachel and her husband both changed jobs when she was around 20 weeks pregnant and at 22-23 weeks she lost her mucous plug. She didn't fully realize what had happened but saw her midwife at a birthing class the next night who examined her. Rachel learned she was 1cm dilated and her cervix was soft, she'd also been having preterm contractions. Her midwife wanted Rachel to go on full bedrest but she was worried about her new job so she tired working part time for a week and then saw her midwives OB who put her on medication and partial bed rest for a month. The contractions continued when she was up and about however, which was their cue to put her on full bed rest for the next 10 weeks. Things weren't quite as planned but Rachel was able to care to term and found support online through facebook groups and Sidelines. She was even able to shift her role at work so she could keep working from home. 

Rachel and her husband had wanted to have a home birth with Ursela but they were living with her mother-in-law at the time who wasn't exactly supportive. They decided to deliver at the birth center again and the day she started to have more intense contractions she thought she'd still have a couple days before things got serious and they needed to go in. She called her midwife who asked her to call back in about 45 minutes but when that time had passed her contractions were so intense that she wasn't able to call her. Rachel's husband was taking a nap with Harriet and also didn't realize how quickly things were moving. She called her midwife after about an hour who encouraged her to go ahead and come in. After hanging up the phone, she had one intense contraction that took her to transition. Rachel grabbed a bunch of towels and as they prepared to go to the parking garage, her water started breaking. Rachel's husband was trying to strap Harriet into the car and call his mom to come help them. His mom said she'd be back soon so they decided to wait and try to get ahold of the midwife again. In the interim, they'd Harriet had gotten out of her car seat and smashed her fingers in the car door, her husband was trying to get someone on the phone and Rachel felt the baby moving down through her pelvis. Her husband called 911, Harriet was crying, and Rachel need to push. In two quick pushes, Ursela came right out, let out a little cry and tried to latch right away. 

All the happy hormones hit Rachel and she realized she had another girl and started telling everyone. Her husband hung up with the paramedics and got through to her midwife who instructed them to go back up stairs to their apartment to deliver her placenta. Rachel had an unexpected lotus birth and her midwife arrived about 20 minutes later. She says it was the most perfect day. She'd had a productive morning, gave birth to her baby just after 5pm, ate some delicious pizza and was in bed with her family by 8pm. 

Breastfeeding has been more of a challenge this time as well. Rachel says that so many of her pregnancy and birth related decisions hinged upon her having successful nursing relationships. They struggled with latch and thrush and she's just getting over a bout of mastitis but is committed to continuing. 

Rachel had repaired a shoulder injury and ab separation after her pregnancy with Harriet through physical therapy and exercise but that was all undone in her time on bedrest. She's recently started working out again and has been able to heal her ab separation a bit and get her shoulder feeling a bit better. She may be a skinny mom but that doesn't mean she's always been healthy or doesn't have to work to cultivate a positive self image. Teaching her girls to love the bodies they're in is a message she wants to pass on. She hopes they can learn to look past people's bodies and look inside to see who a person is. She was excited to lend herself and her story to a movement showing just how many variations of normal there truly are. 

Rebecca Eaglen

The radiant Rebecca Eaglen with her daughter's Alice (3) and Poppy (14 months). Rebecca had uncomplicated pregnancies with each of her girls and wildly different births. Alice arrived just a few days late after labor started while Rebecca was at a friends wedding. Things progressed very typically and her delivery went well. Alice wasn't pinking up however and had to be taken to the nursery to put on CPAP for a day before they were reunited.

Poppy arrived quite swiftly and by surprise with her labor only lasting about 90 minutes from onset to delivery. They went to drop Alice off at her granddads and realized that she wasn't going to make it anywhere else. Poppy was delivered on her granddads bed about 20 minutes before the midwives or paramedics arrived. Rebecca said she was snuggled in bed already breastfeeding when they finally got there. Poppy became quite jaundiced, however, something they were anticipating due to antibodies in Rebecca's blood and she had to spend 5 days in the hospital for treatment. Rebecca and her girls have had a wonderful nursing relationship and she is currently tandem feeding them both.

Rebecca wishes that more women were able to embrace the new women they become when they become mothers. "It only makes sense that our bodies are so different", she says, "and I find that transition remarkably beautiful".

Christina Adams

The amazing Christina Adams with Vance (6.5), Harper (4.5) and Tatum (22 months). Christina is also 33 weeks pregnant. Christina has been graced with very healthy pregnancies. She had planned a hospital birth with Vance and had to be induced which was followed with lots of interventions giving her the drive to have more natural births. While she planned another hospital birth with Harper her labor progressed so quickly she was accidentally born at home and caught by Christina's mom while her husband was deployed. Her second daughter was a planned home birth but her midwife didn't make it in time and baby Tatum was caught by Christina's sister. She has her finger's crossed that the midwife will make it in time for baby number four to make his or her appearance at home!

Sarah Wallus Hancock

The beautiful Sarah Wallus Hancock with Randolph (almost 5) and Archer (19 months). Sarah has always identified as a feminist and knew she wanted to be a mother. She expected to go back to work once she had children but has found her activism shift towards motherhood and her children. Sarah's initial birth experience was incredibly traumatic. She had a healthy pregnancy and had hoped for a natural hospital birth. She labored in the hospital for two 48 hour stretches with a 12 hour break at home in between. While she was able to have a successful vaginal birth she was disrespected at every turn and had a large amount of physical and emotional feeling to do. Sarah's second pregnancy was lost to a miscarriage in her first trimester. She returned to the same hospital Randolph was born due to bleeding, was treated by multiple people insensitive to her circumstance and ultimately sent home. She ended up laboring and delivering her tiny baby at home. Sarah's pregnancy with Archer went beautifully and she did a lot of contemplation and research to determine how and where to give birth. She wasn't comfortable planning a home birth due to her history and pushed for a better experience in hospital. She woke up laboring, knowing it was time to have her baby. She labored at home and called her doula to join her. Very quickly she had dilated to 9.5cms. They discussed rushing to the hospital and Sarah decided she did not want to leave. Baby Archer was born in the hallway at their home. After 30 minutes of snuggling and nursing they went to the hospital to make sure everyone was okay. Sarah says the staff was all congratulatory and kind. Her most recent birth was healing and Sarah hopes to have any future children at home.

Stephanie Davern

The beautiful Stephanie Davern and her daughter Clio. Stephanie got pregnant by surprise and had planned a hospital birth. Once going into labor working with a doula while she labored at home. Her contractions were very inconsistent so she wasn't certain she was progressing. She did some spinning baby techniques to ensure baby was head down and suddenly her water broke. Soon after she realized she was pushing and didn't really have the time nor desire to transfer to the hospital. Baby Clio was born in the bathroom, caught by her father, a surprise unassisted homebirth! Stephanie and Clio transferred to the hospital via ambulance to make sure that everything was okay. They were released after 48 hours however 3 weeks later Stephanie had a massive hemorrhage from retained placenta. Stephanie and Clio are enjoyed an extended breastfeeding relationship Stephanie has begun practice as a doula herself.