Schaulis Fike-Romero

Schaulis Fike-Romero (32), Darrell Romero (35), Adalynn (8), Kenneth (4), and Leland (8.5 months)

Nebraska | Denver, CO

Schaulis shares -

“After my first, I had feelings of inadequacy, I didn't feel beautiful and harshly judged myself. After my second, I was less harsh, but still unsatisfied and uncomfortable with how I looked, but thanks to 4TBP and wonderful friends and family, I began to see the beauty of my body as it was, not how I thought it should be. My children kneading my squishy belly, using my floppy breasts as pillows while they nursed, hugging and hiding behind my thunder thighs when they felt shy, all these things forged a new level of confidence that I had never had before. My 3rd baby had fully cemented body positivity for me. Even though I had dietary restrictions throughout my pregnancy and ate an extremely healthy diet, my body put on the amount of weight it needed to grow my baby. If my body did not change after pregnancy, I would have been ok with that. But it is constantly changing due to my new eating style, so each season of my body brings a new opportunity to accept and love myself how I look. Easier said than done. I will forever be a work in progress, but life is the most beautiful work, so I have learned to live and love it the best that I can.

When I first had my daughter, I was very hard on myself and my body. I was desperate to loose the baby weight because I thought that's what I was required to do. 9 months on, 9 months off as they say. I tried and did not succeed like I had hoped. Life went on, and while I was pregnant with my middle son, I gained quite a bit of weight, and already being overweight did not help. I was comfortable in my pregnancy for the first two trimesters because my amazing midwife helped me to see how beautiful my body was growing this baby. But not everyone was so kind. I spent everyday at work being berated by my supervisor for my weight gain along with other things. If I wasn't the only income at that time, I would have quit, but with a baby on the way it didn't feel like an option. The negativity wore me down and my confidence floundered. The amount of stress that work environment brought on ultimately caused health issues - spiking my blood pressure, ripping my dream homebirth away, and ending in a cesarean for the best possible outcome.

About a year later, I was able to leave that job. Some time after his birth, I found 4TBP and began to see all the different families, read their stories, and see the real beauty. All of this helped me to find comfort in my life. My 3rd pregnancy was by far my healthiest both mentally and physically. Even though I gained a lot of weight again, it was not concerning. My blood pressure was normal the entire time, and most importantly, I kept all negativity away from me. I was able to have a beautiful, healing home water birth surrounded by love and those closest to me.

4TBP helped me to see the beauty of myself and others, and I want nothing more than to help continue that so other's can find that same truth. Research and fight for what you believe and need.

*****

Darrell shares -

“I have come to accept my body in parenthood. At first it was somewhat frustrating knowing that my body was changing and there was little I could do about it. I can't say that I'm really ashamed of how my body has turned out. It's just a part of life's journey and I'm here to experience it.

With my first son, Kenny, it has been an interesting postpartum journey. Because of complications he had to be delivered via cesarean there was disappointment that we were not able to experience the home birth we had been planning. It really felt like everything was stacked against us. Since we had to deliver prematurely there was also much concern for his well being as he was in NICU for a little over a week. Overall it was a difficult experience.

My second son, Leland was a completely different experience. We weren't under the stresses that plagued us during Kenny's birth. That led to a healthy full term home birth that we were wanting. We didn't have the complications with Leland, that we had with Kenny. Overall it was the experience that we were wanting. This is the last child we plan on having so it was very rewarding to get the result we were wanting with Kenny's birth.

I wanted to support my wife and family and be a part of something that helps make a positive impact. Just try and be as positive as possible with the process. Try to have a little more patience as well. Things are going to happen that you will have to live with and accept that they are things you can't change.”

Michelle Gay

The most wonderful Michelle Gay with her daughter Ainslie (4.5 months). Michelle's pregnancy with Ainslie was a bit of a surprise but things went very well from the onset. She is a nurse who works at a private hospital so she just imagined she'd stick with that health system but after a friend had encouraged her to hire a doula, she decided that the public system might be a better fit for her. She chose midwifery care and ultimately hoped and planned for a homebirth. All of her prenatal visits were done at home, but as she got closer to term, she began to have issues with her blood pressure. It was determined that she'd need to deliver in the hospital. She fought an induction and was able to get things going with two rounds of acupuncture. She'd planned to stay away from medications but ended up having gas and ultimately a light epidural after 22 hours of labor and exhaustion setting in. Her waters were broken, and her daughter had meconium in her fluid, which meant she'd have to be confined to bed with constant monitoring rather than laboring in the water and shower. She had counseled that she may need vacuum assistance but was able to push her daughter out on her own in just 15 minutes fully supported by midwifery care and she got an hour of uninterrupted skin to skin with her daughter right away. Michelle says that she grieved not being able to deliver at home, then not delivering without medication, then not being able to have freedom of movement during her labor. However, what she's had the hardest time with is not being able to breastfeed her daughter. She nursed and nursed her daughter's first few days, but she wasn't gaining weight. A midwife told her she needed to gain 5oz in two days or she'd have no choice but to give her formula. It was then that Michelle learned she had insufficient glandular tissue. She scrambled to get donor milk after having tried everything from pumping after nursing round the clock, domperidone, fenugreek, water and lactation biscuits to build supply. Within hours, she had liters of donations coming in. Michelle grieved not being able to nurse and at around 10 weeks had a bit of a breakdown and wanted to relactate. She went through the realm of domperidone and fenugreek and building supply again and in 5 days time was able to get Ainslie to latch with an SNS. She was thrilled and felt that she had finally figured it out but after a short period, Ainslie began to refuse. Michelle has been able to continue feeding her daughter donated breastmilk and hopes to carry on as long as possible. Michelle chose to participate in part, to share the story of her daughter's arrival and her struggles with breastfeeding but also to promote positive body image. She's struggled with her own image especially after struggling through a troublesome relationship in which she was body shamed and told to lose weight. She dieted and lost weight and once she got out of it got stuck in a cycle of binge eating. Now that she has a daughter she finds it more important than ever to embrace her body as it is and love it for all it has accomplished.

Bianca Casey

The beautiful Bianca Casey with her girls Estelle (12), Polly-Jean (5) and Ilse (3). Bianca is currently 35 weeks pregnant with another girl, Lumina, who is likely to be born next week. Bianca had a very healthy pregnancy with Estelle, but things became complicated during delivery, and she ended up delivering via emergency cesarean. Thankfully, Bianca and baby were okay. She was able to initiate breastfeeding without issue and nursed Estelle until about 14 months. Her second daughter was born 7 years later via cesarean after another uncomplicated pregnancy and Ilse just two years after that. She had a breast reduction after Estelle and was worried it may affect her breastfeeding. While she wasn't able to feed as long, she was still able to get milk to her girls in their first few months. Bianca's fourth pregnancy was lost in her first trimester to miscarriage. She was able to cope with the loss and conceived her son Samson before she even got her next period. She felt something was wrong around 17 weeks and learned via ultrasound that he was no longer alive. Bianca feels the greatest gift her son gave her was the natural birth she'd always wanted. Bianca didn't cope well after losing Samson and about 6 weeks after his death, she spent about 6 weeks in the hospital to get herself well. All she wanted was to be pregnant again and was able to conceive Lumina without issue. She's had a bit more complicated of a pregnancy this time around with pelvic pain and some blood pressure issues. She's been more anxious as well, often checking in via ultrasound or doppler to make sure that Lumina is okay. Her doctor is willing to deliver via cesarean at 36 weeks and Bianca is eager to get her girl earth side so that she can be sure that everything is okay.

Chloe Halls

The amazing Chloe Halls. Chloe is mum to Thijson-Maddox (7), Oliver (6), Gregory (2) and Wyatt (1). Chloe never had a very close relationship with her own mother. She was mentally disconnected and struggled with alcoholism, leaving Chloe uncertain about motherhood herself. Her first son, Thijson was conceived while she was on Implanon (an implanted contraception) and while her pregnancy was unexpected, her son was very much wanted and loved and probably saved her live. Chloe was in a difficult relationship that became physically abusive the moment she told her partner she was pregnant. She was abused throughout her pregnancy, the worst of which happened right before she delivered when her partner attacked her with a knife for not having money for drugs or alcohol. Chloe was able to remain physically healthy and gave birth to her son without complication. Her second pregnancy was a surprise as well while still on contraception. She gave birth to another healthy boy without any real complications. After Oliver's birth, the abuse continued and despite calling the police every week she didn't feel they ever took her seriously. Chloe's breaking point was when Thijson was 18 months old, and his father attacked him breaking his ribs. The police took things seriously this time, and Chloe was finally able to get a restraining order against her partner. Sadly, her nightmare continued as she began to navigate the legal system and sort things out with her children and their father. Chloe's children were removed from her for 6 weeks with no contact at all, which was devastating to both her and her babies. Thijson has autism and regressed quite a bit while out of his mother's care. Chloe was court-ordered to take medication, making it nearly impossible to care for her children once they were returned to her. Ultimately, a judge decided that she could have custody of Thijson to help prevent further regression but ordered that Oliver should go live with his father because it was too dangerous, that he may "mimic" his elder brother's autism, even though the abuse had been clearly documented. Chloe then had to face separation from her son for weeks, then months, then the better part of two years but has just been reunited with her boys full time.

In the interim, Chloe met someone new who she is planning to marry in just a few months time, who has been the partner she's always needed and an amazing father to all her children. Gregory's conception was planned, and she had another uneventful pregnancy. He was her only baby she was able to successfully breastfeed and is proud to have made it to 7 months while pregnant with his younger brother. Chloe's birth with Wyatt was her most complicated. She had to be induced, but Wyatt was breech with his neck extended and they were worried that his neck could break in the birth canal. During labor, Chloe began to have blood pressure issues, so they prepared to deliver via cesarean. She was on a lot of medication to try to get her back on track and ended up being very out of it. On the way to the operating suite, she delivered Wyatt without even realizing it. Thankfully he was in good health, and she normalized pretty quickly.

Chloe is very much enjoying having her four boys reunited and looking forward to her upcoming wedding. She is very much looking forward to learning to love herself again.